From the Stinque Department of Lady-Bits, here’s a palate cleanser of Penélope Cruz to refresh all of us (including the ladies) of the week’s worth of mental images of an anti-abstinence grifter Delaware teabagger. (Not to mention heartland conservative women on fire, which Nojo’s title inspired this post).

And since I’m all full-servicey, a little something something of Ms. Cruz’s esposo Javier Bardem is after the break:

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Really, Jon Stewart’s writers could not have come up with something this deliciously obnoxious.

Shelley Oh was giving a speech today in western Pennsyltucky with Laura Bush at her side at a memorial service for 9/11’s Flight 93, and Faux News randomly cuts in the middle of the First Lady’s moving remarks for no other reason than apparently there was no Koran burning to air, so that some fat white man could point out that nine years ago her husband was a “nobody.”

UPDATE: If you don’t normally watch linked videos, I’m saying this in honor of PromNight: “For realz, I’m not making this shit up, click the linque.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuL5RpT3Jfo

Yesterday as families were sitting down to dinner in San Bruno, California, a 30-inch wide, 60 year old natural gas transmission pipeline owned by Pacific Gas & Electric exploded, creating an apocalyptic inferno of flames shooting hundreds of feet in the air, something that fire department officials said they had never before seen, and the fire was not extinguished until this morning.

Aircraft normally used to fight forest fires had to be called in to drop water and chemicals over the suburban neighborhood.  The explosion created a 30 foot deep crater, and the fires destroyed at least 30 homes, injured more than 50 people (many of them critically burned), killed at least four people, and left more than a dozen family pets reported to the Humane Society as missing.  Hundreds of people were evacuated, including from a nursing home.

Officials say that the death toll will undoubtedly go up as the rescue crews survey the area with cadaver dogs.  The fireball and smoke plume was so high in the sky that your San Francisco correspondent was able to see the smoke plume from twelve miles to the north.  The morning after images are akin to those of Dresden in the ’40s.

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Given the kerfuffle over the Florida preacher with the Yosemite Sam mustache who even Fred Phelps thinks is koo-koo pants, you may have missed this latest story guaranteed to inspire more fury directed at the US and its troops:

US soldiers ‘killed Afghan civilians for sport and collected fingers as trophies’

Five Army soldiers have been charged with the murder of three Afghan civilians, and seven more have been charged with covering up the murders and assaulting another soldier who attempted to report the murders to superior officers.

According to the allegations, after murdering the civilians, the soldiers cut off the fingers of the corpses as souvenirs, at least one of them allegedly kept a skull of one of the corpses, in shades of Abu Gharib they posed for pictures with the dead bodies, and then they stole and smoke the hashish that at least one civilian had with him.

The soldiers were part of a brigade stationed in Kandahar in 2009 through the spring of 2010.

But there’s more to the story.

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Human beings with a sense of decency are demanding that Montana’s Big Sky Tea Party remove Tim Ravndal from his position as President of the state party after he joked about killing LGBTQ people and the torture and murder of Matthew Shepard.

Ravndal had stated in a Facebook post that marriage should be between a man and woman (blah blah blah) and one of his fans commented, “I think fruits are decorative. Hang up where they can be seen and appreciated. Call Wyoming for display instructions.”

Ravndal’s response: “Where can I get that Wyoming printed instruction manual?”

The original commenter then responds to Ravndal, “Should be able to get info Gazette archives. Maybe even an illustration. Go back a bit over ten years.”

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The U.S. Coast Guard is reporting that an off-shore oil rig has exploded 80 miles south of Louisiana and west of the Deep Horizon site.  The blast occurred at 9:30 am Central Daylight Time, rescue crews are en route.

Updates to follow…

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It’s been a long day, a long week, a long month, and a long fucking summer and year for your correspondent SFL.

The drumbeat of sad news stories, Sarah Palin mosque antics, Glen BecKKK rallies, and rising unemployment has totally harshed my mellow, and not even Sheryll the Dog is cheering me up.

So when I saw this headline tonight on the San Francisco Chronicle‘s website, I had to laugh because the joke just wrote itself.

Cougar killed near Berkeley’s Gourmet Ghetto Read more »