Kah-lee-fornication

Maybe Smithers Could Be The Timekeeper

Not one, but two political stories involving running:

California Governor Jerry Brown was not thrilled with Chris Christie’s “old retread” insult at the Republican National Convention, and challenged Christie to a fitness contest.

“There’s nothing wrong with being a little retread. I don’t have as much hair, and I’m slowed down a little bit, but I’ve got to tell you, I ran three miles in 29 minutes two nights ago. I hereby challenge Gov. Christie to a three-mile race, a push-up contest, a chin-up contest,” Brown said. “And whatever he wants to bet, I have no doubt of the outcome.”

I so have my money on Moonbeam.  I’m so confident in him that I’d bet R-Money $10 K on it.

[SF Chronicle]

Gettin’ Real in the Whole Foods Parking Lot

I think I spotted Dodgerblue making a cameo in this video shot in a West L.A. Whole Paycheck.

OhPleaseOhPleaseOhPlease

From the Department of Oh My Fucking Flying Spaghetti Monster Please Pass the Popcorn:

A novel California primary that premieres Tuesday was intended to produce moderates, but in California’s U.S. Senate race, it could yield a challenger who claims President Obama was born in Kenya.

Incumbent Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein, 78, running for a fourth full term, faces 23 challengers, including 14 Republicans, the best known of whom is litigious Orange County “birther” Orly Taitz, a Russian Israeli emigre who has appeared on national television with her claims that Obama faked his birth certificate.

Polls taken by robocalls, including those commissioned by Taitz, show Feinstein with a wide lead, trailed by a strange assortment of single-digit rivals, in some cases led by Taitz. Whoever finishes second Tuesday, from any party, wins the chance to take on Feinstein in November.

What do you think, Stinquers? Should the California Stinquers all cast their votes for Orly tomorrow just to fuck with the GOP?

[SF Chron: CA Primary Could Pit Birther Against Feinstein]

Lite Guv Douche (Pronounced Doo-Shay?)

Former Ess Eff Mayor and current California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom apparently has enough time on his hands (and product on his hair) that he doesn’t need to actually be in the state’s capital to do his job. As my fellow Kalifornication resident DodgerBlue as my witness, I regularly refer to the capital of Our Nation’s Largest State as “Excremento” – nonetheless, if you are elected to the second highest statewide office, is it really too much to ask that you spend more than one day a week in the capital city?

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Yo quiero Taco Bell sin tener que conducir

Google shows off its self-driving car test with a run to the dry cleaners and Taco Bell by a blind guy in San Jose.  Dude, there are so many awesome taco trucks parked off the Lawrence Expressway and the Guadalupe Parkway, I’m a little embarrassed for you.  Though I suppose they’re not permanent enough for Google maps.

Duuuuude! 420 in the 408!…

A pick-up truck carrying a load of marijuana in large bags overturned in San Jose early Wednesday morning, but passers-by and other drivers helpfully cleared the roadway of all weed before police could even arrive on the scene.

[SF Chronicle: Crash witnesses make off with spilled marijuana]

Only in El-Ay The O.C.

After a chase involving a helicopter, Santa Ana police arrested two men and a kid who allegedly stole money from a tip jar in a Costa Mesa Starbucks.

I will never understand the SoCal obsession with police helicopter chases. Nor why the po-po fixate on a few punks stealing 20 bucks instead of  the hedge fund managers in Newport Beach ripping off billions.

In any event, I couldn’t decide which illustration to use for this post, so I’ll put up both. Vote for your favorite in the comments.

 

[LAT]