Kah-lee-fornication

On Tuesday, after news of The Sperminator broke, Hollywood moguls behind his new projects were defiant:

“It doesn’t affect this movie,” Cry Macho producer Albert Ruddy says of the unfolding Schwarzenegger scandal. “We’re shooting Aug. 24; we’re in serious preproduction now. It hasn’t affected our sales. It’s going to be interesting if we get even a bump on the foreign side. This is not gonna be a black eye for a guy with an astounding career.”

Even his new, suddenly fabulously creepy cartoon still had a greenlight:

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Let’s not all rush to the IMDb quote pages at once:

Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago — before his first run for office — with a longtime member of their household staff.

Shriver moved out of the family’s Brentwood mansion earlier this year, after Schwarzenegger acknowledged the paternity. The staff member worked for the family for 20 years, retiring in January.

We’ll open the bidding with Kindergarten Cop: “We’re going to play a wonderful game called ‘Who is my daddy and what does he do?'”

Schwarzenegger fathered a child with longtime member of household staff [LAT]

Whole Foods, purveyor of organic foods and expensive to-go meals, is about to open its newest store.

At the corner of Haight Street and Stanyan Street, in the heart of Ess Eff’s gutter punks /tourist trap/ washed up hippies iconoclastic neighborhood of Haight-Ashbury.

But in the Only in NorCal touch, the walls are made of reclaimed redwood that has been carbon-dated to be older than Baby Jeebus.

And it only took the company six years to get over the screaming NIMBYs. At this rate, there might be a cell phone tower in Ashbury Heights by 2020.

[NBC BayArea: Haight Whole Foods Opens Wednesday]
[SFist: Whole Foods Haight Almost Ready for Business]

eMeg is now trailing Attorney General Moonbeam by 13 points in the race for California Governor according to the LA Times, despite (or because of) her infusion of more than $140 million of her own money in the race.

What better time for her to pull out a Hail Mary move than to run an ad that rivals Christine O’Donnell’s “I’m not a witch” ad?

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If it’s Tuesday, there must be another ex-domestic worker of NutMeg and Harsh in the news. This time, the person is a U.S. citizen who was hired to be a nanny and personal assistant/jack jill-of-all-trades to the Harsh-Whitmans.

Jill Armstrong worked for eMeg in 1998, but lasted only two months before she quit because she “had trouble” getting paid for the time she had worked, and because of “challenges” in supervising the family’s two notoriously ill-behaving sons. (Note: These would be the two children who Meg was too busy raising to vote).

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In honor of the press conference of eMeg’s Latina former housekeeper that Gloria Allred is hosting today at 11 am PDT, here’s your “What Else Can You Buy for $119 Million” open thread, not to be confused with Stinque’s previous “$22,140.75 an Hour” thread.

[Ed. Note: Thread may be updated with whatever are the actual “explosive” allegations against NutMeg Whitman]

2,725,968 new dictionaries for an elementary school on an Indian reservation in Montana ($6.97 per dictionary)

or 76,381 microscopes for a high school on an Indian reservation in Utah ($248.75 per microscope)

Picasso’s Garçon à la pipe painting. (Tip: MellBell)

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It’s been a long day, a long week, a long month, and a long fucking summer and year for your correspondent SFL.

The drumbeat of sad news stories, Sarah Palin mosque antics, Glen BecKKK rallies, and rising unemployment has totally harshed my mellow, and not even Sheryll the Dog is cheering me up.

So when I saw this headline tonight on the San Francisco Chronicle‘s website, I had to laugh because the joke just wrote itself.

Cougar killed near Berkeley’s Gourmet Ghetto Read more »