Who Will Think of the Children’s Series?
On Tuesday, after news of The Sperminator broke, Hollywood moguls behind his new projects were defiant:
“It doesn’t affect this movie,” Cry Macho producer Albert Ruddy says of the unfolding Schwarzenegger scandal. “We’re shooting Aug. 24; we’re in serious preproduction now. It hasn’t affected our sales. It’s going to be interesting if we get even a bump on the foreign side. This is not gonna be a black eye for a guy with an astounding career.”
Even his new, suddenly fabulously creepy cartoon still had a greenlight:
The Governator, a collaboration between A2 Entertainment, Archie Comics and Stan Lee’s Pow! Entertainment that has already sold into several foreign territories and awaits a U.S. network, stars Schwarzenegger as a superhero with a crimefighting lair beneath his Brentwood house. Schwarzenegger “creates a secret identity beneath his home — so secret that even his wife, Maria, and kids are unaware,” says The Governator’s press release, “a superhero living a double life, who’s also a devoted family man who needs to make it home for dinner every night.”
But that was Tuesday. By last night, with Maria planning for divorce and Gloria Allred signing a Little House on the Prairie client who claims a long affair — no, stop that, Michael Landon’s dead — all projects are off while The Impregnator “is focusing on personal matters”.
And so, before it hits the Dustbin of Pop Culture History, we proudly present the trailer for The Governator. We’re pretty sure He Won’t Be Back.
I’m Ahnuld the ladies man…
I have all the women I can…
I have secks with the ladies
And makes all dah babies
I’m Ahnuld the ladies man!
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MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
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¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…