Flying Spaghetti Monster knows this moment was coming, and the Grey Lady and all other media outlets had the obit ready to go within seconds, but fuck if it still didn’t hurt.

Tears of joy.

CNN: Scalia dead.

Happy Celebration of the Arrival of Refugees to the U.S., Stinquers! May you be blessed with a holiday feast that doesn’t involve gas-bag relatives raving about Ben Carson or asking “shouldn’t all lives matter?”

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed.”

SCOTUS

Per Stinquer Dodgerblue’s request, enjoy this video of Michelle Obama working out. I had to explain to him that she is not wearing a leotard per se, but there are a few close-ups of her pecs and deltoids. Prepare for Faux News outrage in 3…2…1. She has some mad jump rope skills. I would have either strangled myself on the rope or tripped on my face doing some of her moves.

After her husband Jim Brady was shot and paralyzed in the assassination attempt on Reagan, she became a relentless campaigner for gun control, pissing off millions of gun nuts in the process, and  saving hundreds of thousands of lives with the limits on gun ownership of the Brady Law of 1993 that was enacted as a result of her tireless work.

Roughly translated from the Arabic, it is “#Michelle_Obama_unveiled”

That’s right, bitches. Shelley Oh, unlike most foreign women, went to Saudi Arabia and did not wear a veil. And many of the male leaders of the country refused to shake her hand.

I can’t wait for the cognitive dissonance and head explosions of Faux Nooz announcers: “She’s so disrespectful….ergh…but it was to the Mooslems…but it was the Mooslems with the oil….BOOM!”

Bow down, bitches.

[WaPo]