Nightmare at the Museum

“If you’re old,” the tweet requested Thursday night, “please attach a link to your 2003 take on the invasion of Iraq to your 2020 take on Iran.”

We are old, but we wouldn’t be blogging for another five years, so we have no links to offer.

But we remember.

We remember the run-up, desperately seeking sources — mainly printed — that would see the situation clearly, not feeling rushed by the incessant we must invade now chants being issued by our nation’s illegitimate leadership.

We remember the futility of opposition, our liberal leaders running scared that they wouldn’t be seen as sufficiently willing to beat the shit out of anyone arbitrarily designated our enemy.

We remember the hubris, the certainty that we had but to snap our fingers — and drop a ton of bombs — to bend the world to our will.

We remember the night the bombs dropped, thinking don’t fuck this up.

And we remember the museum.

The bombs dropped March 15, 2003. Combat was declared over — MISSION ACCOMPLISHED — five weeks later, on May 1.

The Iraq National Museum was looted April 10.

Our troops were in the neighborhood, fighting. Museum staff had protected what they could, moving smaller objects to the basement, covering larger items with foam and surrounding them with sandbags. But the looters were able to steal thousands of items — what they could walk out with — many since recovered, but not all, archaeological history vanishing into the chaotic streets.

Don’t fuck this up, we thought the night the bombs dropped, and then we did, our country did, setting off consequences that continue to this day, compounded by how we’ve fucked up since.

On Saturday, Donald Trump, our illegitimate president du jour, tweeted a series of threats to Iran should they retaliate against his hubristic assassination of their military leader. (“We’re America, Bitch” is how Jeffrey Goldberg summarized Trump’s foreign policy last June.) Among these threats was a promise to target sites important to “the Iranian culture”, much like the museum had been looted, or like the Taliban had dynamited the majestic Buddhas of Bamyan in 2001.

That’s what you would expect of barbarians, which we have proven ourselves to be. We don’t even pretend to be the world’s civilizing force these days. We’re just the world’s biggest bully, destroying what we can when we can’t have what we want.

Nothing new there. Trump’s tweet threatened fifty-two sites, one for each American hostage held by Iranian militants forty years ago, militants who opposed the dictatorial rule of the Shah of Iran, installed after a coup overthrew Iran’s elected government in 1953.

And who was behind that coup? The CIA was. We were.

Don’t fuck this up, we thought in 2003, but we were already fifty years too late, the consequences have been spinning out for generations, and they’ll continue spinning out for generations to come.


Which is to say, no point trying to keep up with events at this point. Anything written about what’s happening this moment will be superseded by what happens the next.

Finally, some good news:

Iran state TV places $80 million bounty on the head of President Trump

Expect that sum to triple as worldwide donations begin flooding in.

@¡Andrew!: I actually got curious this morning whether Junior has Secret Service protection.

He does. Made a show of dropping it for awhile, then for the only time in his life, came to his senses.

@nojo: If the bounty goes higher, then hopefully they’ll give Uday and Qusay a cruise missile kiss as well.

This “administration” cannot be permitted to skate, like W’s. Destroy them all.

Yeah sure, the US military won’t commit war crimes on $hitler’s psychopathic orders, says the Pentagon that’s shamelessly lied about absolutely anything and everything for over half a century.

In other news, we’ve always been at war with Eastasia.

Those gawdamn liars at the New York Times will describe the impending breakout of WWIII as the Tr666p/GOP fascists generously offering us an “Alternative to Life,” since FSM forbid some lunatics might accuse them of having BI-ASS.

Meanwhile, Dipshit, Jr., Fembot, and The Ugly One have all suddenly come down with cases of acute bone spurs, so as usual they’ll graciously offer up someone else’s children to lead the charge head first into the machine gun fire.

It just seems too easy that Iran would walk away from this with a quickie missile strike and no US casualties in light of the millions that turned out demanding violent revenge. Seems more like a red herring meant to focus attention on the left hand so that we don’t see the sword coming down hard from the right.

Prezirapist AntiChrist is a senile baboon in a diaper shrieking and waving a loaded gun, and he doesn’t give a shit in the slightest about US troops, our bases, or diplomats. Maybe Iran will use proxies to attack Tr666p properties worldwide. Alternatively, they could just ask their pal Putin to release the Piss Tape and Tr666p’s tax returns that the traitors in our government refuse to do and win without a shot fired.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment