BozoGate: The Complete Saga

Welcome, Countdown viewers and Future Robot Overlords!

Here’s your complete guide to BozoGate, from the original research, to the Times update and surreal Countdown segment, to (finally?) local coverage in Philly:

1. A Very Special Stinque Investigation

2. “Where’s the Bozo Certificate?” Billboard

3. Channel Your Outrage Into Our Bank Account

4. The Times Rides Again

5. The Reckoning

6. Adventures in Surrealism: BozoGate on Countdown

7. It’s Always Bozo in Philadelphia


@¡Andrew!: Death Panels! Kenyan usurper! Socialism!

What? We’re on the teevee?

Do I look alright? Does this shirt go with this moral outrage? Are my tits out?

“I’ll be back,” I said when MSNBC killed our advertising. “I’ll be back.”

Server crash in five minutes…

I made deviled eggs for the occasion. Did anyone remember to get ice?

So, technically, it was a scrolling screenshot of one of our posts, plus the billboard. And then Michael Musto in a witch outfit.

But hey, I’ll take it.

I’d be better if it were Maddow. Good sense of humor plus some hot lesbo action.

@nojo: Did Keef say “stinque”? Because a snippet of him reciting “If it smells, we’re on it” would go nicely below the rimshot button.

@Nabisco: Alas, the word didn’t pass his lips. But he did say “Bozo Truther”.

@Nojo: time for an FCS post, just to rattle the branches a bit.

And check out my new gravatar! I am now … not not masturbating?

I’m sorry, with Benedick out of the country and nojo up to his eyeballs in Bozos I took one for the team and watched ALW’s Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat on Ovation. Did I miss anything?

@Tommmcatt Thinks Masturbation Can Also Involve The Mainstream Media: Ten seconds or so, anyway…

If you can’t wait for the morning post, the video’s already online at the iPad-friendly Scroll down the video list a few places.

Our fleeting moment of fame is about a minute in. Alas, the MSNBC graphic cut the top part of the site logo…

@Tommmcatt Thinks Masturbation Can Also Involve The Mainstream Media: about 30 minutes ago…

@nojo: Hmmmm…no site mention although MSNBC (and others) poach around these here parts? And won’t allow the MSNBC ad? I smell a new story…

@Nabisco: We were referred to collectively as “a group of Bozo Truthers.”

@nojo: It’s better on the big screen. You can make out the “Not the MSNBC ad” and the comments of Dodger, DaveH, Manchu, RML, me(!), mellbell, Karen Marie, and you.

Congratulations everyone, but especially to Karen Marie and Nojo!

@Signifying Nothing: Well, they gave the billboard a good, long still, and the billboard has the site name on it. They also highlighted the other billboard in the show opener.

Yes, of course I’d love a ringtone with Keef saying “Stinque”. But hey, karen marie’s probing question Saturday can now be directly traced to Musto wearing a witch outfit on national television. We could do worse.

Coming up now…I get to see it!

OMFG – just saw the intro – we were #1?!?! I didn’t realize that.

Nojo, did you fall off your couch 3 hours ago (when this first aired)?

@SanFranLefty: My caps key seems to have stuck that moment, but I swear, I was cool as nails…

Wowzer!! I was at a conference and missed it. Will we get, like, residuals? We need to talk to Benedick. Tear him away from the Little Mermaid statue and get him on the StinquePhone.

@Dodgerblue: Unfortunately most hotels don’t get MSNBC (maybe the Mormon-owned Marriott conspiracy) but if your hotel does, check if it’s on because it’s on right now in the West Coast.

@nojo: If ever there were a time for all-caps it would be then.

Wait a second, why is story #3 featuring the TPM ThinkProgress blogger who broke the story on the foreign Chambers of Commerce funding politicians and there was no hamster interviewed for story #1?

ADD: RML is going to have to go out to Newark, Delaware to educate those Joisey Show thugs outside Celibabe’s campaign headquarters who were disrespectful to RML’s secret lesbian girlfriend Rachel Maddow.

/apologies for being 3 hours behind y’all, the perils of being on the West Coast and not near a teevee at 4 or 5 pm

@SanFranLefty: Damn, I think I just caught the end of the spot. If only I hadn’t been watching porn answering email when you posted.

@Dodgerblue: Uhh, no comment w/r/t porn, just saying Nojo is #1 on the countdown.. It’s coming up now (so to speak).

@SanFranLefty: He just did the “worst person in the world” segment.

Holy fucking shit. That was a lovely lingering screen shot…that ironically caught the “Not MSNBC ad” ad. Nojo and KM, Senior Clown Correspondent, I am in awe at the pop culture meme you two have created. Well fucking done.

The fake Bozo is cracking me up.

And Keef seemed so blown away that he described today “as the last day of life as we know it” after that segment.

I think it’s time for a FCS post, BTW.

Mmmm … kay – missed the stinque bit on the teevee, so I need a linque. QVVVICKLY!

Searched MSNBC, but nothing ….

@Mistress Cynica: this may be the code to the actual segment

(It was, but The Management is saving the actual video for the morning post.)

@blogenfreude: Just go to the Countdown site (link from Nojo above) and scroll down in the segment side bar till you see “Bozo.”

I’m on very limited access here…and…wha? I can’t read all the comments. Did Stinque get some kind of mainstream mention?

Holed up in the bedroom watching the POV doc on Daniel Ellsberg, huddled in fear at the next imminent Terrorist attack. Where the fuck is our Daniel E. for the Modern Wars?

OK, gotta check out Cynica’s link and see if I can get 21st century internet video links. Maybe then I’ll know what the fuck y’all are talking about.

Oh My Fucking FSM, I’m only a minute into the Glenn Beck rant about not paying your $75 protection money and I’m thinking, WTF Glenn, what if that $75 was in the form of a tax?

OMGOMGOMGOMG! Does this mean we have to stop talking about hawt hawt hawt XXX kahks now?

No? Carry on.

@¡Andrew!: No, it means we need to talk about hawt kahks even more now, and get Flying Chainsaw out of his bunker to bring down some apocalyptic fury and Satan ass-phucking.

Correction from earlier note: We did get a proper “” credit over the scrolling webpage. Didn’t notice because of all that damn type on the page…

@karen marie, Stinque Senior Clown Correspondent: I meant to say earlier, I LURVE deviled eggs. Like seriously and somewhat scarily love them. I am sort of obnoxious at any party or dinner that features them. It’s been many a holiday at my out-laws’ house where all I could eat was the deviled eggs. Serious football blocks of others.

Please tell me, what’s your secret to getting the egg shell to come off smoothly and not have the outside of the eggs look all bedraggled and the shell in 200 little chips? Old eggs? Salt? Vinegar? Low heat to high heat? I’ve heard thousands of old wives tales, I’ve tried all of them, and I am such a spaz that none of them work for me, so if you have a new approach I’d like to hear it. Otherwise, I’m body-checking Cubbie and Manchu in the buffet line to get your eggs first. I assume you sprinkle some red pepper flakes and Tabasco on them like in Tejas, or is that on the side?

@SanFranLefty: Some people say Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms should not be a federal agency, but part of a great weekend.

That being said, I doan drank around my reloading area, and the ceegars are way far away in time and space. I have reloaded while hungover (and while watching “On the Beach”) and that was a bad move cuz I made them too hot (too much powder), so I have a bunch of rounds to pull and redo. Son of RML and I like to burn the leftover/waste powder on the bench when I’m done for a nice little “foosh!”

@SanFranLefty: Well SFL. This is what I do. I boil zer eggs, and then let them cool.

Whip out a chopping board, tap on the top, tap on the bottom so the shell fractures. Then put the egg on its side and apply gentle pressure to the egg (just so you hear a *crack*) then roll the egg across the chopping board until the shell is evenly shattered.

Now go to the top, or bottom of the egg, and peel the shell off. If you’re lucky you can get the amniotic sac type thing (skin as I call it) and use that to peel off the shattered shell.

Not good for soft boiled eggs though.

Any shell left on the egg (Googie, cackle berry) can be washed off under a cold tap.

@CheapBoy: I love that this question of mine, of all damn things, got you to come in from the Outback for a while.

But I know how to crack ’em — I have THAT technique down, I guess my question goes back earlier into the carton. To wit, how the bloody hell do you get to that point? When others boil them, I can smoothly peel them. Mock all you want, but I cannot properly boil a hard-boiled egg so that it doesn’t look like it has acne when you peel it. Srsly. How long do you boil the eggs? What do you throw in the water? I know how to crack them and skin under the egg-skin. I’m trying to figure out how to get the egg-skin membrane loose. Some folks say peel them as soon as you boil them, but they go bad faster than if you keep them hardboiled shell on the outside.

These are the sort of hard-hitting things we need to resolve here at Stinque when we’re not researching Part-Time-Bozo.

Nojo you bitch I was distracted by discussing hard boiled eggs with our Aussie and Senior Bozo Birther and then you go and delete that Keef video clip I had successfully embedded in the comments?

Aren’t we getting all diva around here.. :P

(If Tommy can scream “First!1!1!!!1” then I get to use an emoticon…Just neither of us should make a habit of such behavior)

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, I Bigfooted it. Kinda pointless of me, but I wanna save something for the morning, even if it’s pro forma.

There’s a broader Unspoken Policy at work: As I discovered early, WordPress only allows Above-the-Timestampers to post videos and photos in comments. Rather than piss everyone off because I can do cool things they can’t, I usually don’t exercise the privilege.

Plus, I like keeping things text-only down here. Easily gets out of hand otherwise.

Ahh, got it. I was confused by the sudden majic power I had. Must use my super-powers for good and equality. I dig it. So between now and the 4 am (our time) Morning Sedition, lemme know if you have advice on egg boiling technique. It’s harder than it might sound in popular culture.

@SanFranLefty: Not sure how many decades it’s been since I boiled eggs, but I vaguely recall that they’re easier to peel warm. If you try to peel fridged eggs, that’s when everything sticks.

Still a crapshoot whether you can peel without pocking. Some eggs just can’t hold it together.

@nojo: @SanFranLefty: Hey, y’all – staying up late, basking in fame steeped in vodka, are we?

Looking forward to watching game tape when I get home tonight; the Countdown I saw this AM NotTibet time must have been the previous day’s.

ADD: soooo, three minutes and I can pre-emptively “f1rst!” Morning Sedition?

@Nabisco: No, site time is ET. You can’t First for three hours.

And not so much basking, but Googling like mad. For the second night in a row. Wanna see how this plays to the crowd.

@SanFranLefty: Well, I normally put the eggs in a saucepan filled with cold water, then bring to boil. Boil for 3 mins. Oh and BTW. Let eggs come up to room temp before beginning to cook them. Otherwise they will crack. (I keep my goggies in the fridge)

Empty boiling water out and refill the saucepan with cold water until the eggs are covered.

Let eggs cool until you can hold them in your hand then do the tap and roll thing.

It’s the only way I can do hard boiled eggs.

@nojo: @CheapBoy: Between the googling and the goggies, I’ve almost forgotten about clowns.

@Nabisco: Well if you add some curry powder and mayo to the mashed eggs, you will never forget about eggs.

(Fart jokes ARE funny)

@SanFranLefty: It is most critical not to overcook them, that is what causes the sticking.

Cheap Boy has it mostly down.

put the eggs in cold water.
boil 5 minutes after water simmers, not roils
let sit there on the burner 5 minutes after you turn the heat off
run under cool water a few minutes.
put in fridge to chill.
peel easily.

it’s tricky, but follow our instructions and you won’t feel like a BOZO !!

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