When you headline your article “Yes, You Can Train Your Cat”, you have our attention. Not because we’re seeking ways to train cats, and not that we dispute that it’s possible to undermine a cat’s very nature by treating it like a common dog, but that it’s an abomination against Creation itself to even consider the idea.
Not unlike Donald Trump’s abomination suggesting that the nice Black citizens of Pennsylvania may stuff ballot boxes, but that’s a pretty pro forma abomination coming from him, so we’ll ignore it.
Back in the Old Country — well, okay, Oregon — occasionally we would need to skip town now and then, and leave our cats with our parents. Our mom once marveled at how talkative they were, which struck us as an odd thing to say, because of course they were talkative. We talked to our cats all the time. And they talked back.
It’s really not hard to understand cats. “I’m hungry” and “I want outside” and “I’m fucking pissed” pretty much runs the conversation. (With dogs, it’s all “Do you love me?”) Talk to them like a grownup — “That tabletop is my turf!” — they’ll get the message.
Happy New Year to you all!
Let us tell you why this video works. This video works because it’s the closest thing we’ve seen of its kind to a B. Kliban drawing. That is why this video works.
[via Know Your Meme]
Just in time for all of us, Henri the existentialist cat reflects upon the meaning of Christmas.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America IMPALE!
¡ANDREW! • Morning in America If only there were a way to block Prezinazi AntiChrist's sinister, fugly face.
KAREN MARIE MIGHT BE PEEKING JUST A LITTLE • Morning in America Oh, hey, kids - long time no see! I am delighted to see you all still kicking it.
¡ANDREW! • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn @nojo: When bad things happen to bad people, and they get what they deserve.
NOJO • Joe the Plumber Foils Our Prediction of Resorting to Online Porn And now he’s dead. At 49. Of pancreatic cancer. Which he couldn’t afford, so he set up a…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Morning in America DISMEMBER!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Morning in America The Orange Grinch who stole an Election (and Top Secrets)
NOJO • Morning in America Needs a Dragnet narrator.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! PIECE OF SHIT, TRUMP! DIE! DIE! DIE!
¡ANDREW! • IF TRUMP APEARS IN A PENITENTIARY, THE INMATES WILL DISMEMBER HIM WITHIN MINUTES! That’s a manifesto I definitely endorse ; )