The Seven Stages of Joy

We’ll wait.

1. Discovery.

2. Scroll back through Twitter feed.

3. No shit.

4. Damn, all the good lines are already taken.

5. Wait, Tic Tacs?

6. Marvel at the parade of toadies decrying or excusing the statement without withdrawing support for the speaker because they’re thoroughly frightened that the Neanderthal hordes they’ve coddled over the years might come for them next.

7. Total fucking bliss.


Meet President Pence, Saint Ronnie 2.0.


“You know what, Scottie? Don’t tell me you’re offended when I say pussy but you’re not offended with Donald Trump says it!”

What’s new Pussy Grab whoa
What’s new Pussy Grab whoa oh

Pussy Grab, pussy Grab, they’ve got audio
And lots of voters to lose because of you
So go and get punched in your spray tan nose
Pussy Grab, pussy Grab, I hate you yes I do
You and your spray tan nose

What’s new Pussy Grab whoa
What’s new Pussy Grab whoa oh oh

History books from this era are gonna have to be sold behind the counter in brown paper bags.

“Stop saying what we’re constantly thinking!!!”

– All RepubliKKKans everywhere

Townhall tomorrow: Hillary should feign a handshake and then squeeze his nuts until he falls to his knees.

It’s stunning watching Republicans crush each other as they run for the exits today. Someone said Trump finally crossed the line by insulting Wbite Wimmin, but then I remembered that “blood coming out her wherever” was, like, a year ago August.

Or maybe it’s just the timing. There’s little you can do to recover from this only a month out, and Trump’s been tanking again after Miss Universe. Folks are bailing now to save their own arses.

@nojo: Things are happening so fast I’m reminded of the golden days of the Watergate hearings after the tapes came to light — imagine if there had been Twitter then!

@Dodgerblue: I’m smart enough to avoid “This is the one that finally takes Trump down” chatter, but last night I found it difficult to take in the enormity of it. Still do. I almost wish they would delay the debate so this can play out a few more days.

And yeah, imagine any past controversy where all we had were pundits tut-tutting. Much more fun watching the pile-on in real time.

A few thoughts:
(1) I would have pegged DJT as more of a Binanca man than Tic-Tacs.
(2) Ted Cruz has great timing.
(3) @Dodgerblue: The ratings for Sunday’s debate are going to be higher than the World Series and Super Bowl combined. I want Hillz to drop the P bomb early and often on him.
(4) Speaking of directly quoting the Orange One, Ana Navarro was all sorts of awesome eviscerating a DJT spokesbot. “You know what, Scottie? Don’t tell me you’re offended when I say ‘pussy,’ but you’re not offended when Donald Trump says it. I’m not running for president — he is.”

@ManchuCandidate: Nice earworm.

ADD: Some of the commenters on the Jez have floated the idea that the WaPo source (who clearly works at NBC) is Billy Bush himself, with this being the ultimate revenge of Jeb! and Poppy H.W. – convince nephew/cousin Billy to take the hit, later get rewarded with some other cushie gig, and do the world and the Bush family a favor.

@SanFranLefty: There’s so much Hindenburg to take in, Cruz has been lost in the rubble, aside from scattered memes of him making calls from a Trump phone bank.

But yes: Total toast. Conscience is a bitch.

@SanFranLefty: NBC-owned Access Hollywood was preparing to release the vid for Monday night’s show, but someone on staff sneaked it to WaPo early, spoiling the scoop. So, not Billy; he was stuck apologizing afterward, not getting in front of it.

“Look upon my works and despair!”
-Ozymandias Trump

Best take I’ve seen is that the rats are only now deserting because the ship is clearly sinking — they would be happy to ride it out, as they have all along, if they didn’t fear he would take them down with him.

Contrast this with “last straw” bullshit: Reluctant endorsers knew what they were buying. There’s no surprise here. The rejections are as opportunistic as the endorsements.

But this ain’t over. After November, who purges whom? Or do establishment Republicans all act like Trump never happened?

@nojo: I think Pence’s performance at the debate with Kaine gives you a preview of the gaslighting and denial that will be coming from establishment Rethugs.

Obviously we all knew about DJT’s unhealthy obsession with his daughter’s body, but this Deadspin piece pulls it all together nicely. It was written on Monday, so it doesn’t include CNN’s unearthing of unaired banter between Howard Stern and The Donald about how Ivanka is voluptuous and a “piece of ass.”

She’s going to need an insane amount of therapy once she stops denying what an asshole he is.

@SanFranLefty: I’ll settle for Paul Ryan no longer being regarded as a thoughtful leader, and just being treated like the hack he is. Won’t happen, of course. DC protects its own.

If the Kardashians can go down in flames then anything is possible.

Ryan is quite a moron for a supposed intellectual.

I suspect Arrested Development is more a prophecy now than just a comedy classic.

@nojo: I can only imagine how much Boehner is enjoying this. Zippy dee do dah and pass the Scotch.

John Kasich is literally the only happy Republican at this moment. He’s already trying out 2020 slogans and thinking bout running mates.

@SanFranLefty: Her therapist will be able to buy Trump Tower.

@Mistress Cynica: Besides imagining Boehner’s schadenfreude, I wish I were a fly on the wall for Barry & Shelley Oh’s conversations about the Orange shitstain. I can’t wait to see how those two mock Trump in appearances this week – Shelley tapping the mic in her speech was beyond awesome-sauce.

@SanFranLefty: Morning update: (Cabletown-owned) NBC sat on the vid for four days, fearing they would be sued by Trump. That’s when someone tossed it to (Bezos-owned) WaPo, which published it as fast as they could verify it.

Still probably not Billy. The Today Show ladies aren’t exactly happy with him at the moment.

@nojo: I never watch the Today show but I may have to tune in to see Al Roker’s response to Billy. Total B.S. answer by NBC to say they feared being sued — any first year law student could tell you that the truth of the matter is the defense to libel charges.

LOL, headline sounds like an “Emanuelle” movie title.

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