Consider That a Divorce
Let’s not all rush to the IMDb quote pages at once:
Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago — before his first run for office — with a longtime member of their household staff.
Shriver moved out of the family’s Brentwood mansion earlier this year, after Schwarzenegger acknowledged the paternity. The staff member worked for the family for 20 years, retiring in January.
We’ll open the bidding with Kindergarten Cop: “We’re going to play a wonderful game called ‘Who is my daddy and what does he do?'”
Schwarzenegger fathered a child with longtime member of household staff [LAT]
Mariah, you know da bump on da maid… it’s not a toomah!
Sex, keepin’ things interesting since the Holocene!
So, can we call him the Bastardator?
Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. Ugh. Feh.
Hang in, Lynn. Hope you’re okay.
@FlyingChainSaw:
The Inseminator
Like Tiger Woods … access is all it took. Lately there’s been gossip about his inability to keep it in his pants, but is anyone really surprised? Another proud GOP moment.
@blogenfreude:
I don’t think anyone in Hollywood or sport is able to keep it in their pants, to be “fair.” Celebrity/wealth seems to be a license to fuck whoever you want (right Gramps?) I don’t proclaim that I’d resist that lure of easy secks, but I think I would have a, er, hard time resisting it.
What gets a lot of people was Mariah’s defense of Ahnuld’s clutching and grabbing during the farce of a recall election.
@ManchuCandidate: Hollywood, Sport, AND Politics. Ahnuld was 3 for 3–how was he supposed to resist?
I never have understood the rationalization of some women that will tolerate their man fooling around so long as he doesn’t knock them up. WTF?
Best comment I’ve seen or heard throughout the entire sorry mess: “Arnold’s really a Kennedy now.”
Do I get to loudly shout again from the rooftops how I voted against that needlessly stupid recall in 2003?
@Signal to Noise: Poor Gray Davis. Taken down by one fraud — Enron — and replaced by another.
@ManchuCandidate: Yes! It works!
@ManchuCandidate: Ha!
@ManchuCandidate: Please. Practically no one is able to keep it in their pants. <— that's a period there
How to avoid impregnating a Space Alien:
Abstinence. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! No one can resist a Space Alien troll doll;
Birth Control, esp condoms if you actually like your SO just a little bit; and/or
::SNIP SNIP:: when you’re finished making babies with SO + bag of frozen peas = no wee space aliens.
@nojo: Indeed. Those rolling blackout were horrible — car accidents, supermarkets losing all their perishables — quite the fucked up situation. I left right before the recall. Ugh.
Somehow I knew that category would be something we could use repeatedly thanks to Arnie. And am I hallucinating or weren’t there rumors about this in 2003?
@SanFranLefty: not about the kid but there was that LAT report that six women accused him of groping them.
Of course, the Times caught hell for it from conservatives because it ran the day before the recall election; they all thought it was a conspiracy to bring Arnie down.
@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Once he knocks them up, it becomes a financial obligation that will negatively affect her and her children AND a permanent link to the woman he was screwing. I’ve known a number of women who would put up with it if it was “just sex” but would kick him to the curb if her fathered a bastard.
@Signal to Noise: I was reading something yesterday about that. It was a short campaign, and the Times ran with the story as soon as they could confirm it. Me, it’s all a blur.
Well, most of it. The other angle I remember was that some other Republican stage-managed the whole thing to elect himself in the recall, and then Ahnold stepped in to grab the glory.
@Nojo: Darrell Issa of Congressional and Lo-Jack fame bankrolled the recall.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Hoo boy, I’m guessing now former Tr666p lawyer Abracadabra *did not* get paid upfront in cash,…