All Hair No Cattle

Queen FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! Depressed That AMERICA! Isn’t Sucking His Dick Hard Enough!

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see that headline? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! they hate me, DUCKY! THEY HATE ME! How can that be? Booohooobooooohoooo!

Insane Kremlin chew toy Queen FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! is overwhelmed with depression by the fact that everyone in the universe understands what a twisted treasonous, pathetic piece of owned shit he is and righteously wants him to just go and fucking throw himself off of the 14th Street bridge.

The Washington Post reported this week,  “The media clearly matters to Trump, however. And Trump’s penchant for holding grudges seems to be sucking whatever joy should come with winning the ultimate prize.”

HA!

HA! HA!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

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The Resignation of Donald Trump

You were off by one.

Donald Trump was not prepared to be president.

This comes as no surprise. Trump, like everyone else, expected himself to lose Election Night. He had made no study of the office or its responsibilities. He had no previous government or governing experience, not even vaguely relevant experience running a large bureaucracy like a corporation. He was a complete political novice.

He had no idea what shit he was stepping into.

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The Truth Hurts

Poor widdle Pewwy…Governor Good Hair got upset about this cartoon in the Sacramento Bee:

He forgot to draw the bottle of pills on the podium.

He said he was “disgusted” by the cartoon and it mocked the deaths of people in West, TX. No, dipshit, what’s disgusting is the unfettered devil-may-care attitude of you and the corporation that disregarded the safety of residents. The editor of the Sac Bee said it best:

The Bee’s editorial page editor, Stuart Leavenworth, responded Friday that the artist, Jack Ohman, “made a strong statement about Gov. Rick Perry’s disregard for worker safety, and his attempts to market Texas a place where industries can thrive with few regulations.”

“It is unfortunate that Gov. Perry, and some on the blogosphere, have attempted to interpret the cartoon as being disrespectful for the victims of this tragedy,” Leavenworth said. “As Ohman has made clear on his blog, he has complete empathy for the victims and people living by the plant.

“What he finds offensive is a governor who would gamble with the lives of families by not pushing for the strongest safety regulations. Perry’s letter is an attempt to distract people from that message.”

[SF Chron]

Everything Must Go!

[@morningmoneyben, via @daveweigel]

Lite Guv Douche (Pronounced Doo-Shay?)

Former Ess Eff Mayor and current California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom apparently has enough time on his hands (and product on his hair) that he doesn’t need to actually be in the state’s capital to do his job. As my fellow Kalifornication resident DodgerBlue as my witness, I regularly refer to the capital of Our Nation’s Largest State as “Excremento” – nonetheless, if you are elected to the second highest statewide office, is it really too much to ask that you spend more than one day a week in the capital city?

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I’m a Godless Heathen, and I Approved This Message

Snap!

Andy Cobb & The Partisans from Second City respond to Gov. Good Hair’s I’m Rick Perry,and I’m Not a Secret Muslim ad:

Oh, and there’s this:

[L.L. Bean: Original Field Coat]

Big Numbers Like 1 and 2 Confuse His Pretty Head

Proving yet again the truth of the comment often attributed to Molly Ivins that “Perry is Shrub without the gravitas or intelligence,” and/or that there’s no age limit on stupidity, at a town hall meeting Tuesday at a New Hampshire college, Gov. Good Hair asked all the college students who will turn 21 by 11/12/12 to vote for him.

In his defense, it’s only been 40 years since the 26th Amendment was adopted.  Oh shit, more numbers!

[WaPo]