Big Shitpile

Seven Simple Steps to Protect Yourself from Identity Theft

1. Always use different elaborate passwords when signing up for online accounts.

2. Check your monthly credit-card statements for suspicious purchases.

3. Monitor your FICO score.

4. Don’t access your bank or credit card websites using public wifi.

5. Shred all financial statements.

6. File tax returns as soon as possible.

7. Fuck it, Equifax is just going to leak your name, Social Security number, birthdate, address, and driver’s license anyway, then generously offer one year of credit monitoring for something that will screw up the rest of your life.

Why the Equifax breach is very possibly the worst leak of personal info ever [Ars Technica]

Queen FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! Depressed That AMERICA! Isn’t Sucking His Dick Hard Enough!

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see that headline? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! they hate me, DUCKY! THEY HATE ME! How can that be? Booohooobooooohoooo!

Insane Kremlin chew toy Queen FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! is overwhelmed with depression by the fact that everyone in the universe understands what a twisted treasonous, pathetic piece of owned shit he is and righteously wants him to just go and fucking throw himself off of the 14th Street bridge.

The Washington Post reported this week,  “The media clearly matters to Trump, however. And Trump’s penchant for holding grudges seems to be sucking whatever joy should come with winning the ultimate prize.”

HA!

HA! HA!

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

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DID RUSSIAN AGENT FUCKFACE Von CLOWNSTICK DIRECT FLYNN TO SUCK OFF THE RUSSIANS AND HIDE THE BLOW JOB FROM PENCE?

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see Putincakes?

Per usual the American press gets it completely sideways when confronted by complete and UTTER FUCKING EVIL.

Trumpligula’s first official act as president is to praise a criminally insane Soviet-era communist party psychopath who has gotten control of Kazakhstan where the Trump operation is likely providing laundering services for organized crime.

Then Flynn has a mysterious conversation with a Russian ambassador to assure him of policy changes he can count on under a Trumpligula administration. Reporters are all over themselves pointing out inconsistencies in the statements by Melissa McCarthy impersonator Sean Spicer and insane crack-addled harpy face-biter Kellyann Conway.

Not a month into the Reign of Fuckface, US intelligence agencies are putting the White House on blackout status because the fucking place is so obviously owned by the fucking FSB.

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Because Austerity is Totes Awesome

Because spending money to put people back to work never accomplished anything …

David Brooks Columns We Never Finished Reading Because He Failed to Execute a Citizen’s Arrest…

Needs more mustache.“Not long ago, I was at a dinner with the chief executive of a large bank.” [NYT]

Things Calvin Coolidge Said Four Years Before the Stock Market Crashed and the Great Depression Began…

“But the business of America is business, as Calvin Coolidge said long ago in an alternative universe…” [Mark Steyn/NRO]

SCOTUS Health Care Decision Liveblog

Estimated time of the decision is 10:15 am EDT, as there are a couple of other decisions to release and it will be a madhouse of reporters and advocates trying to run out of the low-tech court after the release of the decision on the Affordable Care Act.

11:37 EDT Update: Decision  Linque to SCOTUS opinions here.

10:33 EDT Update:

Per Amy Howe at SCOTUSblog, who either has a copy in her hand or is secretly blogging from inside the court:

In Plain English: The Affordable Care Act, including its individual mandate that virtually all Americans buy health insurance, is constitutional. There were not five votes to uphold it on the ground that Congress could use its power to regulate commerce between the states to require everyone to buy health insurance. However, five Justices agreed that the penalty that someone must pay if he refuses to buy insurance is a kind of tax that Congress can impose using its taxing power. That is all that matters. Because the mandate survives, the Court did not need to decide what other parts of the statute were constitutional, except for a provision that required states to comply with new eligibility requirements for Medicaid or risk losing their funding. On that question, the Court held that the provision is constitutional as long as states would only lose new funds if they didn’t comply with the new requirements, rather than all of their funding.