SMU unveils plans for the Bush Library, featuring a “Freedom Plaza” at the entrance:

The George W. Bush Presidential Center will tip its hat to the former president’s home state, from the Texas limestone and pecan wood paneling inside the complex to the wildflowers, bluebonnets and prairie land outside.

“I applaud the work… in designing a building and landscape that will capture the dignity of the office of the presidency, while at the same time being warm and welcoming to visitors,” former President Bush said. “Laura and I were thrilled with the plans.”

We’re sure the design is lovely, but we still prefer our original artist’s conception, which included rolls of the Constitution conveniently provided in all visitor restrooms.

Bush presidential library at SMU has distinctive Texas flair [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

Propmaster Sarah Palin protects her children’s privacy like a stage mother:

Ahead, on my right, I saw the Alaska Right to Life (RTL) booth, where a poster caught my eye, taking my breath away. It featured the sweetest baby girl swathed in pink, pretend angel wings fastened to her soft shoulders.

“That’s you, baby,” I whispered to Piper, as I have every year since she smiled for the picture as an infant. She popped another cloud of cotton candy into her mouth and looked nonchalant: Still the pro-life poster child at the State Fair. Ho-hum.

Well, I still thought it was a nice shot, as I did every time I saw it on its advertisements and fund-raiser tickets.

We went hunting, but alas, we can’t find the Piper Poster online. But our favorite move remains shoving Bristol in front of the cameras as an abstinence advocate. We can’t wait until the kids hit 21, when they can write their own books.

Piper Palin, Superstar [Washington Independent]

The problem, you see, is that the Star Trek DVD came out Tuesday, and since the original series premiered when we were seven (Thursdays at 8:30 on NBC, followed by Dragnet, and then Dean Martin), we have something of a primal interest in it, but when the planet blew up, and then the dude’s mom was killed, we started wondering what fucking alternate universe have we landed in, not to mention the dude and the chick sucking face on the transporter pad, and then apparently we missed a cool gag in the starship wreckage, although we did notice the Tribble, and why is it the best Trek movies are directed by Trek-agnostics like J.J. Abrams and Nicholas Meyer, the latter of whom had never even seen the series before doing Khan, and oh shit aren’t we supposed to write a morning post?

So, yeah. Sarah Palin sucks.

If you’re wondering when those invisible-fence collars attached to wingnuts get activated, here’s an indication:

Rep. John Shadegg (R-AZ) has apologized for suggesting that, if 9/11 trials are held in New York City, Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s daughter could be kidnapped.

“I saw the mayor of New York said today, ‘We’re tough. We can do it.’ Well, Mayor, how are you going to feel when it’s your daughter that’s kidnapped at school by a terrorist?” Shadegg said last night.

This afternoon, he told the Associated Press that he’s sorry — but added that his point was still a good one.

On the other hand, Michael Mukasey’s collar seems to be malfunctioning.

Shadegg Apologizes For Saying NYC Mayor’s Daughter Could Get Kidnapped [TPM]

Longtime members of Our Merry Band of Wonkette Deserters will recall the joys of Butterstick Summer, when Ana Marie Cox became unnaturally fixated upon the National Zoo’s brand-new adorable bundle of hairless baby Panda flesh.

And since the Stinque Remote Office is located just thirteen blocks north of the Sandy Eggo Zoo, we really should have paid more attention to their brand-new adorable bundle of Pandaplasm, born August 5. Just for tradition’s sake.

But we didn’t. Nor did we think to prank the zoo’s name-the-panda contest, which drew 6,300 nominations.

Which means, now that the bamboo-devouring rugrat’s driver’s license will read Yun Zi (“son of cloud”), we’re shit out of luck to bitch about it. Although we may still use runner-up Xiao Long — “little dragon” — as our porn name.

Zoo’s newest panda gets a name [SD Union-Tribune]

PandaCam [San Diego Zoo]

Levi Johnston watches the Oprah interview so we don’t have to.

Palin: [It’s] a bit heartbreaking to see the road that he is on right now.

Johnston: I think she’s going out and talking and she’s just digging a bigger hole for herself.

Palin: [It’s] kind of this aspiring — aspiring porn, some of the things that he’s doing — it’s kind of heartbreaking…

Read more »

Our guest columnist this morning is celebrated blogger Sarah Palin.

Any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism… I think, man, that doesn’t do us any good, women in politics, women in general, wanting to progress this country—

The Management apologizes for hiring Sean Hannity’s intern, who completely inadvertently posted an old column from March 2008, and has been sacked. Below is the appropriate entry.

The choice of photo for the cover of this week’s Newsweek is unfortunate. When it comes to Sarah Palin, this “news” magazine has relished focusing on the irrelevant rather than the relevant. The Runner’s World magazine one-page profile for which this photo was taken was all about health and fitness — a subject to which I am devoted and which is critically important to this nation. The out-of-context Newsweek approach is sexist and oh-so-expected by now. If anyone can learn anything from it: it shows why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, gender, or color of skin. The media will do anything to draw attention — even if out of context.

Newsweek [Sarah Palin/Facebook]