We posit plausible scientific theses!
You decide!

The criminally insane whack job that is wandering around the White House in his bathrobe babbling to himself and plotting revenge against everyone in AMERICA! who has refused to publicly swear allegiance to his throne is obviously suffering deep and incurable mental illness.

If CNN reported tomorrow that Precedent von Clownstick was found eating his own arm and laying in his own feces on the floor of the oval office with a greased woodchuck stuck in his ass, no one anywhere would be surprised. Anyone who’s read the newspapers in the last month would shrug.

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“It’s my understanding that Gov. Palin was offered a contract by FOX, and she decided not to renew the arrangement… She remains focused on broadening her message of common-sense conservatism across the country and will be expanding her voice in the national discussion.” [Real Clear Politics]

“Hello, Texas!” —Sarah Palin robocall endorsing a Republican Senate candidate, which reached Kansas instead. [Topeka Capital Journal, via Political Wire]

“She’ll reveal a different side of her than you’ve seen before.” —The Today Show website, promoting Sarah Palin’s guest-hosting appearance Tuesday. [CNN]

“Karl Rove mockingly dismissed the value of Sarah and Todd Palin’s endorsements on a private conference call today, noting that their backing of Newt Gingrich in Alaska ‘demonstrated that endorsements don’t mean snot.'” Mitt Romney won Alaska last night. Gingrich came in fourth. [BuzzFeed, via Political Wire]