• You have been exposed to someone who bought a bluecheck on Twitter
• You have been exposed to someone who will spend precious moments chatting with the cashier
• You have been exposed to someone who had chili for lunch

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We posit plausible scientific theses!
You decide!

The criminally insane whack job that is wandering around the White House in his bathrobe babbling to himself and plotting revenge against everyone in AMERICA! who has refused to publicly swear allegiance to his throne is obviously suffering deep and incurable mental illness.

If CNN reported tomorrow that Precedent von Clownstick was found eating his own arm and laying in his own feces on the floor of the oval office with a greased woodchuck stuck in his ass, no one anywhere would be surprised. Anyone who’s read the newspapers in the last month would shrug.

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I was a fool to ever leave your side
Me minus you is such a lonely ride
The breakup we had has made me lonesome and sad
I realize I love you
‘Cause I want you bad, hey, hey

I spent the evening with the radio
Regret the moment that I let you go
Our quarrel was such a way of learning so much
I know now that I love you
‘Cause I need your touch, hey, hey

Reunited and it feels so good
Reunited ’cause we understood
There’s one perfect fit
And, sugar, this one is it
We both are so excited
‘Cause we’re reunited, hey, hey Read more »

Would a person who — as a result of his or her blind adherence to an ideology — sets off an explosion that registers as the equivalent of a 2.1 earthquake, killing at least 15 people, injuring more than 200 people, and incinerating more than 50 homes and businesses, be considered a terrorist?

If corporations are people, my friend, then why are we not terrified by the thought of a lightly-regulated individual (biz-ness) that is focused on the ideology of maximizing profits actually handling dangerous chemicals?

Records kept by the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration show that the last time the agency inspected the plant was 28 years ago. In that inspection, dated Feb. 13, 1985, the agency found five “serious” violations, including ones involving improper storage and handling of anhydrous ammonia and improper respiratory protection for workers. The agency imposed a $30 penalty on the company.

Last June, the company was fined $5,250 by the federal Department of Transportation’s Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration for violations involving anhydrous ammonia. An investigator reported the violations following an inspection of the plant in September 2011, and the agency later determined that the company had corrected the violations.

Something to ponder on 4/20 — no not for that 4/20 reason — I mean the 3rd anniversary of the Deepwater Horizon explosion that killed 11 people and fucked up the Gulf of Mexico, resulting in the largest environmental disaster in American history.

[NYT: Plant Explosion Tears at the Heart of a Texas Town]

[Austin American-Statesman: Death Toll in West Rises to 14]

Atlanta:

Police say that two people have been shot at Atlanta’s Price Middle School in an incident that took place Thursday afternoon. According to Atlanta’s NBC Channel 11, officers are on the scene along with medical personnel.

The two gunshot victims are alive, one adult woman who suffered minor scrapes and bruises, and a 14-year-old who is currently at Grady Memorial Hospital, sources say. The school is currently on lockdown and parents are being asked to stay away until the situation is under control in order to avoid confusion.

And in Texas, an ADA:

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He’s just a joke now:

McCain lost badly in 2008, and the country will pay dearly as long as he remains in the Senate.

What is it with Colorado?