Title: “Getting Into The Vortex: Guided Meditations CD and User Guide”

Authors: Esther Hicks and Jerry Hicks

Rank: 6

Blurb: “Living a better-feeling life really comes down to one thing only: coming into alignment with the Energy of our Source. Abraham reminds us that we are truly Source Energy focused into our physical bodies, and that a conscious Connection to that Broader Non-Physical part of us is necessary if we are to be the joyful Beings that we were born to be. Abraham calls that wonderful alignment Getting into the Vortex.”

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Hey Everybody! The Pope has made the landmark decision that the Catholic Church now approves of the use of condoms:

when the sole intention is to “reduce the risk of infection” from Aids.

So, I’m going to celebrate this Saturday night, by putting on my first rubber and sexing a woman with it. Actually, I’m going to have sex with a needle-sharing gay African man, so that I can make sure I am reducing my exposure to AIDS and then I can still go to Heaven when I die.

This also means that the risk of exposing both Priests and altar boys to the disease will be greatly reduced. Party on, Pope!

Pope approves use of condoms in fight against AIDS [Telegraph]

OK. So the Iowa Hawkeyes’ game this afternoon against The… Ohio State University will feature a pregame ceremony honoring Medal of Honor recipient Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta — who, fortunately, is from Iowa. Which is nice, all things considered.

All things considered, of course, except for this tripe from Iowa’s star quarterback, Ricky Stanzi:

“I don’t know how other colleges are, but when you walk around here, you’ve got people … you’ve got guys walking around in dresses and just these hippies. They’re doing nothing. There’s the Ped Mall area down there, right in the middle. Those people are going nowhere. Those people are the people who don’t like America. They always find something wrong with [America]. They’re the problem. They’re the people who need to change and figure it out. They need to get it together and work hard.”

The instareaction is, of course, annoyance. Guys walking around in silly clothes wanting to change the world MADE THIS COUNTRY GREAT. Hell: look at Ben Franklin — dude did so much for America and still had time to make frilly shirts look faaabulous.  Even on fat guys like him!

Or: how about satire? Seriously, the Buckeyes’ d-line should move from their four-point stances to a knee, in unison, and ask Ricky to marry him. He crosses the line to punch the nose tackle in the throat.  False start (5 yards).  Unsportsmanlike conduct (15 yards).  First-and-ten goes to first-and-thirty.  And Ricky gets tossed.  You’re welcome.

But having hippies get off their asses and do something? Like, say, elect Iowans who aren’t knuckledraggers like Steve King?  Ricky may have a point after all.

Anyway: big slate of college football today.  Wisconsin at Michigan in a massive Big Ten tilt.  Illinois and Northwestern will cram (literally) into Wrigley Field. Domers to the Bronx to try to salvage an awful season against Army.  Haaahvid and Yale have their clambake.  And, oh, by the way: Stanford at Cal for Big Game.  Allow this to serve as your College Football Smackthread.  Enjoy!

“I was at a dinner last night where everyone in the room had to name a few policies that they thought would increase economic growth in the coming decades.”
—Ezra Klein, age 26, Washington Post

• “I’m sorry, is the riotous orgy next door?”
• “Pardon me! I’m usually able to hold it until I reach the curb.”
• “Your mother’s in here. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.”

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While our fearless Stinque leader Nojo (who admits he seldom flies) says he can’t get excited about the electronic strip searches and probing pat downs conducted by TSA at airports, I am incredibly riled up about this blatant violation of 4th Amendment rights by our government.  And believe me, I’m someone who thinks about the 4th Amendment quite a bit.

As the worst day for travel approaches next week (Hi Mom! This Wednesday is why I never visit you at Thanksgiving!), more non-traveling regular US ‘Merikans and not just us frequent flyers are getting to experience the double bind of choosing between radiation exposure/virtual strip search, or a highly invasive pat-down.

So people are rightfully pissed off that House Speaker-Elect John Boehner (R-Fake Tan) was able to avoid the nekkid body scanner and the pat-down; and in fact he managed to avoid all security at Washington’s National Airport.  No doubt — no doubt — he has a lifetime’s worth of radiation exposure from the tanning bed.

Meanwhile, I decided to follow the money. Guess who’s making money off of this airport performance art?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVE60zwXx1k

And after the chimp finished, Michigan quickly hopped to a nearby cornerstone, where he could safely hide for another century.

[via karen marie]

Rev. Mark D. Boykin of the Church of All Nations in Boca Raton: “We are asking that before he takes the oath of office, Gov.-elect Scott gets rid of his stocks from [Playboy Mexico-affiliated] QuePasa Corporation. The governor of the state of Florida should not be benefiting or have an interest in pornography. It goes against our family values.” [Miami Herald, via Raw Story]