Dinner Parties We Missed

“I was at a dinner last night where everyone in the room had to name a few policies that they thought would increase economic growth in the coming decades.”
—Ezra Klein, age 26, Washington Post

  • “I’m sorry, is the riotous orgy next door?”
  • “Pardon me! I’m usually able to hold it until I reach the curb.”
  • “Your mother’s in here. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.”

  • “I’ve got a better idea. Let’s all take turns playing TSA Agent.”
  • “Helen Mirren, Sigourney Weaver, Christina Hendricks. Oh, economic growth!”
  • “Could somebody stick their thumb up my ass? I think my soul collapsed.”
  • “Wow, that’s the best bloated goose liver produced by force-feeding pounds of grain and fat multiple times daily I’ve ever had!”
  • “Hey, does anybody mind if I light a fart?”
  • “Tonight, when I get home, and look in a mirror, I pray to God that something stops me from shredding my face.”
  • “I was told there’d be punch and pie.”
The filibuster and the deficit [WaPo]

Amateurs: I was at a dinner party the other day where we all had to identify 10 non-defense, discretionary budget cuts… through charades. Winner gets a copy of the new Max Weber biography.

I think I’d rather be face down in a pool of someone else’s vomit.

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