As is widely known, on average between four to five percent of men are likely to be homosexual. So far we have elected 42 Americans and one Kenyan. By my reckoning, since many were Republicans, that means we’ve had at least sixteen of my people in the White House. Some of our more distinguished men who love men include:

George Washington.

Well, I mean, look at him.

Had way too much fun up at Lake Ticonderoga as a twenty-something soldier. Fun which was repeated when, as leader of the continental army, he sat outside Boston for the better part of a year so he could hit the bars. War won (thank you, France), like any self-respecting gay pol he found an heiress to finance his public life and settled down.

Biggest achievement: White breeches.

Biggest disappointment: Failure to convince Congress that what the newly minted country most needed, apart from a strong centralized government, was hereditary knighthoods.

Best line: “Some things are better without teeth.”

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7kcqB3thJM

Transformers 3, directed by Michael Bay, cost $195 million. (Or twice that, depending on which rumor you read.) It would have cost more, if they hadn’t economized by lifting footage from 2005’s The Island. Directed by, um, Michael Bay.

Sandy Eggo offers a spectacular fireworks display each year, at five coordinated locations along the waterfront — three of which are visible from the hillock above Stinque World Domination Headquarters, a view only exceeded by the port side of passenger jets landing at Lindbergh Field.

But as good as it is, our favorite fireworks display remains the one we saw in 1979, in black-and-white, in a Eugene movie theater.

Title: “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far”

Authors: Bristol Palin and Nancy French

Rank: 1,125

Blurb: “The oldest daughter of Sarah Palin and single mother goes beyond the headlines, offering readers an inside look at her life, her world, and the things that matter most, including her family and the faith that keeps her centered.”

Review: “Bristol’s credibility is further damaged by how she paints herself as the innocent victim in every situation. Everyone’s out to get her and her family. It was extremely tiresome by the end of the book. This was a book filled with whining, complaining, and grievances galore. Bristol assumes the absolute worst about everyone she encounters, yet wants the reader to assume the best about her.”

Customers Also Bought: “Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs”, by Levi Johnston

Footnote: Fuck Amazon.

Not Afraid of Life [Fuck Amazon]

Our guest columnist is Stinquer RedManLaw.

As we celebrate our freedoms this weekend, remember that it also includes the right for Americans to dress up like World War II German soldiers and run around the countryside with carbines, machine guns and artillery.

Happy Freedom!

Living History – D-Day 2005 – 352nd Infanterie Division [Grenadier352nd]

Our guest columnist is the Citizen Media Law Project, writing on Gadsden Light Bulb entrepreneur and Twitter fetishist Michael Patrick Leahy.

Michael Patrick Leahy, author and founder of “Top Conservatives On Twitter,” filed a lawsuit against blogger Stephanie Grasmick, Twitter user “Duke St. Journal,” and 25 anonymous Twitter users for libel, false light invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and tortious interference with contract.

Leahy, who appears to be handling the case himself, asserts that Grasmick posts on Twitter under the name StephanieInCA and is the operator of Teablogging, a site created “to chronicle the lead-up to the April 15 conservative hysteria Tax Day Tea Parties and to serve as a central repository for low-brow teabag-related sex jokes.” His four-count complaint alleges, among other things, that Grasmick libeled him in a blog post on May 13, 2009, in which she falsely stated that he is:

• a “major tax fraud”;
• a “delusional profiteering creep”;
• an “insane clown”; and
• a “member of some alien race of Lizard People.”

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After we very gently mocked the new Gadsden Light Bulb yesterday, our post got picked up in the wingnut Twittersphere. What kind of people rang the bell on the Lefty Attack? Let’s find out!

• @MikeMunzing, Aliso Viejo, CA: “I’m a Patriotic, Constitutional Reagan Conservative, who loves God & country. I’ll never die on my knees as we take our country back!”
• @KurtSchlichter, Manhattan Beach, CA: “Big Hollywood et al writer, ex-comic, Desert Storm/OEF (Kosovo) veteran, conservative, and the only right wing civil trial lawyer in LA. And so darn #caring.”
• @sc_swampfox: “Constitutionalist from Myrtle Beach,SC. Devoted to restoring a constitutional republic. USMC RVN vet. Honor, Courage, Commitment.”

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