Greetings, Pawn!

Our guest columnist is a Seattle-based online retailer that’s been pulling this move on every state that tries to collect sales taxes from it.

To: Stinque
From: Associates Program
Subject: Notice of Contract Termination Due to Potential New California Law
Date: June 29, 2011 12:20:34 PM PDT


For well over a decade, the Amazon Associates Program has worked with thousands of California residents. Unfortunately, a potential new law that may be signed by Governor Brown compels us to terminate this program for California-based participants. It specifically imposes the collection of taxes from consumers on sales by online retailers — including but not limited to those referred by California-based marketing affiliates like you — even if those retailers have no physical presence in the state.

We oppose this bill because it is unconstitutional and counterproductive. It is supported by big-box retailers, most of which are based outside California, that seek to harm the affiliate advertising programs of their competitors. Similar legislation in other states has led to job and income losses, and little, if any, new tax revenue. We deeply regret that we must take this action.

As a result, we will terminate contracts with all California residents that are participants in the Amazon Associates Program as of the date (if any) that the California law becomes effective. We will send a follow-up notice to you confirming the termination date if the California law is enacted. In the event that the California law does not become effective before September 30, 2011, we withdraw this notice. As of the termination date, California residents will no longer receive advertising fees for sales referred to

Stinque responds: “There goes our beer money.”


Sorry about losing the beer fund in the interim, Nojo. Gotta start pimping the swag in the Stinqueria, I guess.

With regard to Amazon:
Cry me a fucking river. You got 10 years of making sales to customers who didn’t pay sales tax, unlike the brick and mortar stores that went under as a result.

Sidenote Attn: Amazon Department of Messaging:
You might want to rethink writing a statement that goes on and on about how you’re an out of state company, and then blame the new law on “big box retailers” who are out of state. You can’t have it both ways.

Putting on my legal-eagle hat, please keep in mind that I studiously avoided classes like Tax or Corporations in law school and only learned what was taught by Barbri for bar review and therefore am somewhat talking out my ass:
Given how whack-a-doodle the pro-bidness SCOTUS has been lately, they might buy Amazon’s argument that making them collect sales tax interferes with their customer’s First Amendment rights. However, I’d say the interstate commerce clause would be a more solid legal hook for Amazon. OTOH, arguably if any computer jockeys at subsidiaries or subcontractors work on Amazon websites or Kindle innards design, that’s enough for a presence without the state having to point to the Nojos of the state.

@SanFranLefty: We need to get creative with the merchandise. For example, where are the Stinque branded dildos? How come no one ever put the logo on some assless chaps? And the fact that no-one has proposed or produced a Stinque Bong is, quite frankly, shameful.

You could always use the address of Stinque’s no-sales-tax Orygun outpost. Just say the word. I’m here for you.

Wait. Was it signed into law already? If not, buy up, peoples!

@SanFranLefty: The Stinqueria’s closing down this weekend, on account of I never pay attention to it, and CafePress keeps dinging me a few bucks a month to keep it open. Plus, they’re going to start dinging me a few bucks more if I don’t meet some kind of sales minimum.

@Mistress Cynica: Amusing thought. The folks are still on the ground in the Eugene Ancestral Home, so I could always dump it there. But there’s not enough referral money to make it worth the trouble.

@JNOV: Not yet signed. I think this is their last try to provoke an army of peons to rise up for them.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Anal beads have lower overhead. Anal pears, maybe?

My “Stinque Amazon Deathwatch” features two books about Michelle Bachmann, one book by Michelle Bachmann, and one book by Newtie.

How fitting.

@JNOV: Bad liability on that, I think.

ADD: Penile Sounds? Whaddya think?

@nojo: Any bargain basement deals to be had? Srsly, if I place an order now, will it still go through?

ADD: @Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: w/r/t the chaps – there’s a joke in there somewhere about low overhead.

TJ (sport) Just in… Yer Pie-rats and my Blue Jaz split series. Rubber game tomorrow.

Moonbeam has signed the online-tax bill. It’s on, baby!

@Nabisco: I’m not pulling the plug until Saturday, so order away.

Dept of the Gheys Are Everywhere TJ:

Dan Savage greets Obama at White House reception for LGBT advocates wearing a button that said “Evolve Already”

Also, this comment to the reporters is spot-on:

Savage, a strong proponent for gay marriage, said his presence at the White House should not be construed as a surrender on the issue. ‘We can scream and yell and be dicks and wear buttons and still eat Obama’s cupcakes and drink his champagne,” Savage said.

He predicted Obama’s evolution on gay marriage would be complete in February, 2013.

Right, every sorry beggar running a website needs to harass Gerry Brown so Bidzos can kill all the independent booksellers and enjoy eating TWO fresh babies on buttered toast every day for breakfast.

@ManchuCandidate: Just checked the scores. Let me put my feelings about major league baseball this way:


That is all.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Ouch. Maybe.

I like not paying sales tax for stuff I can’t get here (soap base oils finally came), so, yeah.

@ManchuCandidate: How ’bout them Phils.

Some people can’t subtract. Last time I checked, 44-40=4, but maybe baseball uses maths I don’t get. I’d focus on one game behind a .500 record. That’s a real victory for some. It would be a shame to be soooooo close and yet so far. (WTF is going on in this movie?!)

Amazon is swift and fierce:

Unfortunately, Governor Brown has signed into law the bill that we emailed you about earlier today.  As a result of this, contracts with all California residents participating in the Amazon Associates Program are terminated effective today, June 29, 2011…

To avoid confusion, we would like to clarify that this development will only impact our ability to offer the Associates Program to California residents and will not affect your ability to purchase from

Yes. Well. Confusion avoided.

This weekend… going to be a rough series for the Jaz if your Fils keep pitching like they do.

@nojo: Oh, no! I better order Lucy’s bowl now!

ADD: Oh, no! Stinqueria link already gone?

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: The template link is gone, but here’s a shortcut.

Sales end Saturday. Or Sunday. Whenever I get around to it.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment