The Loudest Dick in the World

The insect Micronecta scholtzi is a fascinating creature. Just two millimeters long, it can create a noise magnitudes greater than its size — “comparable to a passing freight train”, according to scientists who have endured it. Males “try to produce a song as loud as possible, potentially scrambling the song of competitors”, we are told. The insect accomplishes this amazing feat by rubbing its extraordinarily tiny penis against its abdomen.

In related news, today is Glenn Beck’s last day on Fox.

Water insect makes record noise with penis [BBC, via LuxMentis]

At least the insect doesn’t make up stories about how Liebruls are mean to him while he sits and watches a movie then turn split wine into whine.

As metaphors go this one goes pretty far.

Haven’t seen Capt Howdy in a while, but perhaps this will draw him out:

U.S. Military Bans “Toe Shoes”
Officials say the funky footware “detract from a professional military image.”
By Christina Gossmann | Posted Thursday, Jun. 30, 2011, at 11:07 AM EDT

No, you did not misread the headline. The U.S. military has indeed banned those funky shoes with five individual slots for your toes.

Vibram, one of the leading makers of the trendy footware, claims that its FiveFingers shoe “allows our anatomy to work naturally and move more freely.” FiveFinger fanatics claim that the shoe strengthens muscles in the feet and lower legs and improves their range of motion, balance and agility.

@mellbell: For a minute I thought you meant these. I couldn’t think what the Marines were doing en pointe.

@Benedick HRH KFC: I suppose it’s a play on toe socks. My youngest cousin had her pointe shoes autographed by Twyla Tharp a couple of years ago. They were her only pair, so she kept dancing in them until she outgrew them.

glenn becks ho got some wine spilt on her and folks said bad words when they went to a movie:

i’d love beck and his ho to sit in front of me at a UT Vols football game. It would be the third game i got kicked out of. i got standing ovations at the first two, by god. the third time would definitely be the charm. if y’all chip in and buy them tickets, i more than promise to do my part. the becks need tickets in section w, row 51, seats 42 and 41, neyland stadium, shields-watkins field. if anyone gets a ticket in the upper deck section ww, row 1, seats 42 and 41, you can pour liquor on them and probably not get in trouble.

@jwmcsame: I wouldn’t waste liquor on them. Urine maybe.

@jwmcsame: I was looking into that last night, and it was so convoluted, I bailed.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment