“[The Cybertruck] doesn’t have a brake pedal. Why? We didn’t have to do that. It doesn’t need one.”
–Elon Musk

• You’ll feel no pain when your head smashes into the shatterproof windshield.
• Framed notarized certificate and titanium wallet card declaring your dick isn’t that small.
• The optional Westworld android to cheat the diamond lane during your commute definitely won’t kill you.

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Should’ve let ’em try an electric one as well:

We did it … we really did, 45 years ago:

Not even aure what this is, but it’s going 20 stories into the air:

For the record, this is not THE ACTUAL BATMOBILE that we saw at the Lane County Fairgrounds in 1968, forever disappointed that it didn’t SPEW FIRE FROM ITS ARSE.

On the other hand, this model does spew fire from its arse, which, for a cool two hundred large, it damn well better.

So we won’t mind — really! — if you decide to splurge this Dark Black Friday and buy it. And have it delivered. To us. In Sandy Eggo. Because whatever your expense, our childhood closure is priceless.

The Authentic 1966 Batmobile [Hammacher Schlemmer, via Comics Alliance]

“Lord, I’m going to get in trouble over this, but it is not natural for two women or two men to be married. If it was natural, they would have the equipment to have a sexual relationship.” —Georgia GOP Chair Sue Everhart, who also fears benefit fraud because everyone will now rush to get gay married. [Marietta Daily Journal]

“IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT — The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet.” [Star Wars Blog]