Additional Cybertruck Safety Features
“[The Cybertruck] doesn’t have a brake pedal. Why? We didn’t have to do that. It doesn’t need one.”
- You’ll feel no pain when your head smashes into the shatterproof windshield.
- Framed notarized certificate and titanium wallet card declaring your dick isn’t that small.
- The optional Westworld android to cheat the diamond lane during your commute definitely won’t kill you.
- Free courtesy liability coverage that indemnifies the manufacturer.
- The slight unpleasantness of your first transforming experience will be offset by the comfort of knowing your consciousness is now an Autobot forever.
- Padded cupholders.
- You don’t need seatbelts when you’re released into the wormhole to Vega.
- You’ll be too blissed out by the 5.1 soundsystem to care about the schoolchildren you just mowed down.
- You’ll emerge from the fiery wreckage as Dr. Manhattan.
- Software never fails!