Additional Cybertruck Safety Features
“[The Cybertruck] doesn’t have a brake pedal. Why? We didn’t have to do that. It doesn’t need one.”
–Elon Musk
- You’ll feel no pain when your head smashes into the shatterproof windshield.
- Framed notarized certificate and titanium wallet card declaring your dick isn’t that small.
- The optional Westworld android to cheat the diamond lane during your commute definitely won’t kill you.
- Free courtesy liability coverage that indemnifies the manufacturer.
- The slight unpleasantness of your first transforming experience will be offset by the comfort of knowing your consciousness is now an Autobot forever.
- Padded cupholders.
- You don’t need seatbelts when you’re released into the wormhole to Vega.
- You’ll be too blissed out by the 5.1 soundsystem to care about the schoolchildren you just mowed down.
- You’ll emerge from the fiery wreckage as Dr. Manhattan.
- Software never fails!
Actually, some or all electric cars have regenerative braking which is a matter of letting go of the “go”/”gas”/”zoom” pedal.
My Nissan Leaf can do that too, but not as well so I have use the brake pedal like a normal car. I drove a newer Leaf which does have a more powerful regenerative braking mode which allows for one pedal driving, but I didn’t like it (grumpy old man who doesn’t like change.)
However, it is Musk being Musk. And that Truck comes out of some dystopian movie where the world is run by arrogant quasi libertarian oblivious dickbag tech bros… uh, kind of like today.
@ManchuCandidate: In the interview excerpt I stole this from, Musk is clearly bragging about a superior algorithm that handles the vehicle better than a human would. Which, sure, five-nines quality, let’s grant him that. But with each vehicle on the road, with each mile traveled, you’re drawing closer to the statistical threshold. And there’s nothing statistically required that you reach all five nines before encountering the catastrophic exception.
@nojo:
I don’t trust the pooter algorithm. Won’t even watch any Harry Potter movies while letting the Pooter drive. Unlike the Pooter I have never driven into a parked truck at 70mph.
The news is such a despairing ordeal every day that on this Thanksgiving Eve, I’d just like to mention that I’m thankful for:
Family and friends;
Cats and dogs and all of our fur babies;
The very seXXXy men of the Pacific Northwest;
Living in a free society;
Dolly Parton;
The incredible courage of people all over the world in confronting cruel, tyrannical, kleptocratic regimes, such as those in China, Chile, Israel, Turkey, Russia, Saudi Arabia, and the United States, to name a few.
We all share the same struggle.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…