Remember last month? Yes? No? When we were all so excited about Team Romney’s pick of Paul Ryan for president? No, wait. Vice president. Remember how we were all so excited by the boldness of his economic ideas? After four years of economic stagnation and crippling debt caused by Obama’s socialist-marxist tyranny we looked forward to a president who… wait, vice-president (why do I keep doing that?) who could make America great again. The way it should be.

Turns out math is hard. And who has time to explain stuff to people who won’t understand anyway? We don’t need to know what loopholes he’s going to cut. We need to know how he keeps his body fat so low. At between 6% and 8% it’s even lower than Mitt Romney’s tax rate. And he didn’t rely on government handouts to get himself in shape. And he didn’t eat vegetables either.

Paul Ryan doesn’t have time to explain the math to losers.

Aaron Schock advises Ryan to work it. “I often spot Paul in the congressional gym,” the hunky congressman declares. “He has so got it going on. My girlfriend lives in Canada.”

“Because they kinda do,” reads the original post. Which the Obama Tumblr reposted Monday. And then removed. After the Weekly Standard took notice.

“The most important [debate] anecdotes, aides say, may not even be family stories, but memories from his days at Bain Capital. Bain Capital’s rise from an offshoot of a consulting firm to a major power in the private-equity world is something Romney takes prides in, and his advisers hope that the candidate defines those years on his own terms.” [NRO, via TPM]

Following in the staggered footsteps of Gary Johnson, we’re proud to present John Dennis, Zombie Hunter. Speaking of zombies, Dennis lost to Nancy last round by 65 points.

[via Political Wire]

“Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.” —NYT

• “I don’t get no respect — from 47 percent of Americans!”
• “That dog don’t bark — because we can’t hear him from the roof carrier!”
• “What’s the deal with airline windows?”

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Paul Ryan, Fox News Sunday:

“It goes without saying that there is definitely media bias. I think most people in the mainstream media are left of center and, therefore, they want a very left-of-center president versus a conservative president like Mitt Romney.”

Chris Christie, ABC This Week:

“I’m not going to sit here and complain about coverage of the campaign. As a candidate, if you do that, you’re losing.”

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