Take My Wealth — Please!

“Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.” —NYT

  • “I don’t get no respect — from 47 percent of Americans!”
  • “That dog don’t bark — because we can’t hear him from the roof carrier!”
  • “What’s the deal with airline windows?”

  • “In Switzerland, money buys you!”
  • “I wouldn’t join a club that would have me — I’d buy it and fire the staff!”
  • “I picked the wrong week to start faking my tax deductions!”
  • “Kolob will get you for that!”
  • “You bet your ten thousand dollars!”
  • “That reminds me of the time my vulture-capital firm bought a healthy company, saddled it with expensive debt, offshored the jobs to Asia, and then kept a healthy management fee when it went bankrupt. Funny story.”
  • “All in all, I’d rather be in the Cayman Islands.”
Before Debate, Tough Crowds at the Practice [NYT]

Jumping Jehovah.

People with no sense of humor or comedic timing shouldn’t do “zingers.”

This is very hard to pull off. As the actress said to the bishop.

I’d suggest that he hires Joan Rivers or Chris Rock as a proxy. I’m cringing already at the thought of Romney getting wild and crazy. Practicing since August: how spontaneous.

I’m really surprised by this, even at this late date. I had no idea that he was so provincial.

Psst. Kolob is a planet. Okay, it’s not a real planet, but still. Elohim (Adam-God) might get someone. Mormons are Jews, BTW.

The JDubs are using the USPS now. There’s some week-long revival type thing coming up. They’re going to explain the bibble’s prophecies. It’s free, so I might go for the lulz.

@I’m passing for white: I know. I just like baiting Gen. Christian. Also, I like how it sounds.

@nojo: Does he swing by? Not sure if he’s MoNoMo or NeverMo, but he is in friggin’ Odgen or Orem or something. I feel for the dude.

@I’m passing for white: Eastern Washington? Redneck community outside Seattle? Somewhere in your new neighborhood.

And, from the sound of it, MoNoMo. He’s too preoccupied with it to be NeverMo.

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