Quick! Somebody sacrifice a virgin! If the radar photo above is any indication, Europeans have clearly pissed off Mother Earth with their excesses. After the jump, heartbreaking stories of “tragedy” from some of the world’s most privileged people.
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Here is how ladies around the globe talk about their time of the month. Dissing other countries and referencing food seem to top the list. Also, Japan just officially became one giant Hello Kitty store. Read more »

Your favorite foreign correspondent has taken time out of her busy wine-drinking schedule to report on a bunch of fuckery happening presently:

Italy

Berlusconi, class clown, made fun of the lefty governor of the Piemonte region: Read more »

Looks like French Thetans are reporting to their landing stations today, thanks to a ruling in France that’s forcing the French branch of Scientology (preciously called, “Scientologie”) to pay up to a million bucks in fines.

There were two separate charges of fraud and extortion, filed by two women. One forked over about $40,000 for… well, whatever stupid shit Scientology makes you fork over money for. But the second, I believe, cut to the heart of France’s sense of entitlement:

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At one point during Monday night’s Green Day show at Madison Square Garden, Billie Joe Armstrong announced that he needed someone on stage who could play the guitar:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e69cNb5z7FE

If that little girl in her Misfits shirt and her pigtails can get up on stage at Madison Square Garden and absolutely own it, there is hope for the future. That is all.

The baby Jesus made sure I came across this gem of a website today, the Lord’s Day. I present for you, without comment, some of the more interesting answers. Peace be with you!

When the Rapture happens, God will take the Christians who have died and the Christians who are still alive and bring them up to heaven, where they will get new bodies that will be beautiful and perfect.

Unlike everyone else, Jesus never did anything wrong. He never sinned by doing bad things. He never stole anything or disobeyed his parents or said bad words or mean things.

It’s not fun to be sick, but being sick reminds you that the world has a sin problem.

The ark could have held 522 railroad box cars! So dinosaurs could have fit inside the ark.

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Ladies and gentlemen, your foreign correspondent brings you good tidings from Il Bel Paese – and I introduce you to our very own hot mess right wing nutjob, Mara Carfagna!

Adorable, isn’t she?  Yeah, she sucks; I’ll tell you why in a minute. But lest you think I’m grasping at straws to make the “hottie” comparison, join me after the jump for a photo from her previous career.

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