One moment you’re touching the sky, the next moment you’re wallowing in a pigsty. If you’ve ever wondered what a fall from grace really looks like, wonder no more.

[via Know Your Meme]

Let’s set some ground rules: We respect Will Farrell, but we are by no means an unabashed fan; the first Anchorman was disappointing, even if we live in Stay Classyville; and Ron Burgundy hosting a real North Dakota newscast isn’t as good as it ought to be.

But if you can make it to the story about the Black Friday shoplifter being chased out the store and almost running down the employee who blocked her car, then you’ll respect the challenges faced by a local newscast when there isn’t any news.

Which, given that this is Bismarck, is probably most days.

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I’m at Museum of Sex (New York, NY) 4sq.com/ZkGIle

— Ian Kahn (@LuxMentis) April 9, 2013

In this heartwarming video from North Korea, a young man dreams of taking a rocket to a Space Shuttle, gently flying around the Earth, then bombing the shit out of America.

North Korea video shows US city in flames after missile attack [Guardian UK]

Update: Well, that didn’t last long. Global scofflaw North Korea apparently lifted the elevator soundtrack of “We Are The World” from an Activision game. The silent version isn’t nearly as much fun.

This is a donkey. Nice donkey. Donkey is in Botswana. You can see donkey in Google Street View.

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Monkey caught after running loose in Toronto Ikea store . Not known how monkey, clad in shearling coat, got in #ikea

— CBC News Alerts (@CBCAlerts) December 9, 2012

First Bad Santa, now this. But hey, it’s an easy way to start the week for Stephen Colbert’s writers.

Our guest columnist is Senator Tom Coburn, criticizing what we think is an excellent use of government funds.

One notable training-related event that was deemed an allowable expense by DHS was the HALO Counter-Terrorism Summit 2012. Held at the Paradise Point Resort & Spa on an island outside San Diego, the 5-day summit was deemed an allowable expense by DHS, permitting first responders to use grant funds for the $1,000 entrance fee. Event organizers described the location for the training event as an island paradise: “the exotic beauty and lush grandeur of this unique island setting that creates a perfect backdrop for the HALO Counter-Terrorism Summit. This luxury resort features over 460 guestrooms, five pools, three fantastic restaurants overlooking the bay, a world-class spa and state-of-the-art fitness center. Paradise awaits…”

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