Don’t mind us, just getting a sigmoid colectomy this week.

Seeing as we have a master’s in philosophy and all that, it’s not like we haven’t given sustained thought to mortality and consciousness.

The two are conjoined, at least as we know it: Life is consciousness, our awareness of ourselves, our world, the continuum of our experience. We may live in an eternal Now, but Now for us includes stories of Then, and dreams of Later. Which is where language comes in, since language is the articulation of our consciousness, our stories, our past participles and future perfects. Without language, our lives are just one damn thing after another. With language, our lives have shape.

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One moment you’re touching the sky, the next moment you’re wallowing in a pigsty. If you’ve ever wondered what a fall from grace really looks like, wonder no more.

[via Know Your Meme]

Let’s set some ground rules: We respect Will Farrell, but we are by no means an unabashed fan; the first Anchorman was disappointing, even if we live in Stay Classyville; and Ron Burgundy hosting a real North Dakota newscast isn’t as good as it ought to be.

But if you can make it to the story about the Black Friday shoplifter being chased out the store and almost running down the employee who blocked her car, then you’ll respect the challenges faced by a local newscast when there isn’t any news.

Which, given that this is Bismarck, is probably most days.

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I’m at Museum of Sex (New York, NY) 4sq.com/ZkGIle

— Ian Kahn (@LuxMentis) April 9, 2013

In this heartwarming video from North Korea, a young man dreams of taking a rocket to a Space Shuttle, gently flying around the Earth, then bombing the shit out of America.

North Korea video shows US city in flames after missile attack [Guardian UK]

Update: Well, that didn’t last long. Global scofflaw North Korea apparently lifted the elevator soundtrack of “We Are The World” from an Activision game. The silent version isn’t nearly as much fun.

This is a donkey. Nice donkey. Donkey is in Botswana. You can see donkey in Google Street View.

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