In Surgery, No One Can Hear You Scream

Don’t mind us, just getting a sigmoid colectomy this week.


Oh wow, hugs for you, nojo. Is there anything I can do (sending healing vibes your way)?

@¡Andrew!: I need a good fart to get the fuck out of here. Please light one for me.

And, scene. Back home, and near as I can tell, they didn’t steal a kidney when I was out cold.

Hope all is well as can be. I had that 8 years ago.

@ManchuCandidate: I’ve really fucked up the statistical curve, because everything went as well as possible — nurses kept asking me about postop pain, and I had none whatsoever, the mildest tummyache at worst. They sent me home with Tylenol and Motrin.

BREAKING: Manwhattafart & Cohen BOTH GUILTY… wow wow wow!

Hey, remember all the times an American president’s chief campaign manager and personal attorney both went to jail after the election? Yeah, this is NOT NORMAL.

Don’t forget National Security Advisor for a day, Mike In Like Flynn

+ Duncan Hunter (R-Vapin’) indicted for campaign finance violations and wire fraud. I forget, can Republinazis still serve from a jail cell? IOKIYAR.

Just readin’ up on the charges against Mr Hunter and spouse. Wow. They overdrew their checking account over 1,100 times resulting in $37,761 in overdraft charges (!) (!) (!)

And he has the gall to smugly lecture the nation about conservatism and fiscal responsibility??? Whatta fuckin’ cunt!

One time like fifteen years ago, Mr A! wrote a check that exceeded our balance, and then the bank did that dirty reordering scam, in which they cleared that check first in order to overdraw the account and make all of our other checks bounce (that’s illegal now, right, ha ha).

Anyway we ended up with like $200 in overdraft fees and I completely exploded, like completely lost it. As in, I gave him hell for like six months after that. Looking back I realize how absurdly I over-reacted (once), but when you’re broke you know gawdam-well exactly how much is in your checking account, and how much sure as hell better be in there when the bills clear. Jeezus Christ.

And Hunter was raised rich—and he still has no fockin idea how to manage money. I wanna kick him in the balls just for that.

@¡Andrew!: That’s partly why he has no idea how to manage money. I overdrew my checking account my first semester in college because no one had ever thought to teach me how to record checks and balance the account. My grandmother never recorded the check she wrote because they kept about $10K in their fucking checking account at all times. And I’d never seen a bank statement, much less anyone trying to balance it. So I thought you just wrote checks for whatever and the money was just there.
No one ever talked about money AT ALL in my family. It was considered vulgar. I had no idea what our annual income was or what was considered a large income.

Tyrion Lannister: I’m quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn’t taught me much about managing it.

Although to be fair, Duncan is the poorest Congress Critter with negative wealth.

@Mistress Cynica: I’ve long lamented the total lack of financial education in this country; why is this not a mandatory course during the senior year of high school? I’m fairly certain that it’s because the corporations and politicians don’t want the masses to understand how they’re being screwed six ways from Sunday by predatory lending, tax rates tipped to the wealthy, and budget shenanigans.

And it’d be a lot more practical and useful than another year of fucking algebra, which doesn’t seem to have any purpose other than flunking people out of college.

@ManchuCandidate: Spouses just love it when their husbands go on national television and blame them for their felonies. By the end of the weekend, Hunter’s gonna be begging his wife not to chop off you-know-what, and indictments are gonna be the least of his worries.

@¡Andrew!: they got the money man who goes back to Trump pere.

Strap the fuck in, gals and dolls, there’s a hard, there’s a hard, there’s a hard rain, agonna fall.

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