There are bears in the woods. There are sharks in the ocean. And, once a year, there are bulls running on the streets of Pamplona.
Who the fuck does this?
To steal a phrase Tom Lehrer, if you run down a street with half a ton of angry pot roast, you might win a Darwin Award.
What Ted Nugent said: “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”
What New York magazine said Ted Nugent said: “So … Ted Nugent Threatened to Assassinate President Obama?”
What the Secret Service said to New York magazine about what New York magazine said Ted Nugent said: “We are aware of it, and we’ll conduct an appropriate follow up.”
What ThinkProgress said the Secret Service said to New York magazine about what New York magazine said Ted Nugent said: “The Secret Service Says They Are Investigating Ted Nugent’s Threatening Remarks Toward Obama”
What we said: Jesus Christ, folks, it’s only April.
The Arizona Senate passed the Birther Bill last night, which requires Presidential candidates to show either a “long-form” birth certificate — the one Hawaii’s holding back — or two of the following:
Like all Americans, we can get behind required Circumcision Certificates for Presidential candidates. Especially Michele Bachmann.
Play of the Day: Demrat Congresscritter Bob Etheridge of North Carolina gets up close and personal with a Breitbart-affiliated Flip-wielder. We’re supposed to condemn Etheridge for manhandling the asshole who won’t identify himself (and cravenly blurs his own face on the video), but instead we’ll condemn Etheridge for later apologizing.
Hey, we don’t like snarky ambush interviews when Michael Moore does them, either.
Your favorite foreign correspondent has taken time out of her busy wine-drinking schedule to report on a bunch of fuckery happening presently:
Berlusconi, class clown, made fun of the lefty governor of the Piemonte region: Read more »
The Minnesota-Bachmann Victory Committee is charging $10,000 for a personal photo op with Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin. [HuffPo, via Political Wire]
Bollocks!
Senate Democrats spent Thursday night hammering away at Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Ky.) for single-handedly holding up action in the upper chamber — but he blurted out a message to one of them on the Senate floor: “Tough s—t.”
Suit? Spit? Slat? Stat? Slit? Tell us, Politico! We can handle it.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…