FlyingChainSaw
Hey, you, you got a buck? Wanna here me say something? Suck something? Hey, you, get back here!

God loves me and wants me to prosper! Even if I have to buy all my own books with other people's money! That's how much God wants me to prosper! Why do you hate God's love for me?! Why do you hate God?!

Insane, incompetent narcissistic fame-junkie Sarah ‘Talibunny’ Palin will go down in history as the veep candidate that poured America’s candy dish into her panties on her way out – if she’d only fucking leave.

The snowbilly grifter’s desperate cackling lunges at any and all opportunities for self-promotion and/or cashing in on her bizarre and over-ripe moment of notoriety have become the stuff of legend.

Palin PAC Spent More On Books Than Candidates [HotlineOnCall]

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HONOLULU — The Republican National Committee, howling ecstatic sieg heils into the waves in this tropical paradise, vowed to deny campaign aid any GOP candidate who cannot dictate Mein Kampf by heart in the original German, with a Bavarian inflection and a teeny tiny moustache while goosestepping rigorously around the Holiday Inn where they are staying.

The RNC had been preparing a more demanding, totalist purity test for GOP candidates to receive party funding but chose this alternative because there are a limited number of sieg heiling nutbags who would put up with that kind of Lord-of-the-Flies abuse who aren’t in straightjackets somewhere on a Thorazine drip. Worse, the GOP hero of the hour, Sen.-elect Scott Brown of Massachusetts, would have failed the test for abortion (amiguous position), and health care reform (voted for Romneycare).

RNC rejects ideological ‘purity test’ resolution to screen candidates [The Hill]

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The monstrous horror that Bank of America, and its noxious acquisition, Countrywide Financial, have cast upon this land extends far beyond lunatic abandonment of underwriting quality, knowing sale of worthless mortgages to securities firms and wanton, savage disregard for the financial health of its customers.

This criminal enterprise is so completely mad in the babbling, demented fury of its death throes that it is seizing buildings with which it has no foreclosure standing. Arrive at home and find that the  locks have been torn out and replaced? The electrical power’s been cut? Surprise, Bank of America’s come for a visit!

Ha! Hahaha! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s BofA!

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American banks are kinda like Santa Claus - if Santa was a psychopathic home jacking extortionist. "Hey, you got my fucking fee? You didn't know about it? Hey, you know the fuck about it now! Where the fuck is it? Where the fuck is the money?"

Unless you’ve made your way to a credit union or thrift, likely your bank is planning to beat you unconscious and ream your ass into a bloody pulp with savage new fees to make up for the revenue these gangland operations will lose due to changes in the credit card regulations taking effect next month. If you have a credit card, call your bank immediately and find out what changes are in store. Likely they’re monstrous horrors that the poor telemarketer schlubs will try to explain away as unlikely to effect you.

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Can Wanda Sykes Will Limbaugh to Die? Let's Find Out!

Can Wanda Sykes Will Limbaugh to Die? Let's Find Out! Maybe Jesus will nuke Fuckbaugh if she promises him a taste of her luscious breasts. Yes, oh, God, yes.

The incredibly funny and unimaginably luscious Wanda Sykes famously wished that Rush Limbaugh’s heart would fail at Obama’s first White House Correspondents dinner this year, responding to Fuckbaugh’s howling condemnation of Obama and wish that he and his presidency fail.

Well, it appears Wanda has special powers, command of the paranormal and a profoundly righteous sense of justice, as Oxybaugh was carried off to a hospital on Honolulu yesterday after complaining of chest pains.

Maybe, just maybe, however, Wanda needs a little help with her aim.

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S & M Sex Freak and GOP Icon Awaits Trial for Savage Battering of Missouri Woman. If He Approaches You, Shout 'Green Balloons' and Run For Your Life

S & M Sex Freak and GOP Icon Awaits Trial for Savage Battering of Missouri Woman.

The police incident report recovered by the crusading Kansas City Star reveals allegations of former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton’s Republican savage sexual deviance that would make Idi Amin blush, including one attempt at forcible bondage, apparently some kind of family-values ritual.

GOP S&M Sex Icon Jetton has been charged with second-degree assault after a Sikeston woman reported he came to her home, apparently drugged her, battered her black and blue for hours and allegedly had sex with her unconscious body in the best traditions of the GOP.

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Say it! Say it, bitch and maybe I won't break your face again! Say it! Say, GREEN BALLOONS! Bwahahahahahahaha

Rod wants to hear the Safe Word only it's so hard to hear when his hands close around his lovers' throats.

Twisted GOP S&M freak and former Missouri House speaker Rod Jetton thinks battering and choking people is normal, everyday lovemaking, according to a recent legal complaint, just oh-s0-snuggy, yeah, and apparently oh-so-hot when your fist hammers through the bitch’s caps and, yeah, oh fucking yeah, when you choke the bitch unconscious and it feels so, like, oh, god, oh fucking yes, so like the first time you voted Republican.

Guys snugging guys or ladies snugging ladies, well, hey, that’s a crime against god and nature, Jetton decided in 2007 and, according to TMP Muckraker:

fired a state lawmaker from his committee chairmanship in 2007 because the lawmaker had changed a bill in order to end a state ban on gay sex — or what Jetton called “deviate sexual intercourse.”

When a lesbian buries her face between her lover’s legs, say, she needs to bite her genitals, beat her unconscious and rape her anally with a live rabid ferret apparently for the encounter to qualify as honest to god sex for Jetton. Maybe if all the homosexuals in the universe were able to prove that they beat the fuck out of each other during sex, Jetton would recant his position.

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