Well, barring a last-second schedule change or purge, North Korea is going to have its totally-not-preordained-result Workers’ Party of Korea conference (approximately nowish Stateside).  Word from KCNA [for the best in live, local and late-breaking news, trust KCNA… North Korea’s News (Dear) Leader] is that Kim Jong Il will — in a stunning development — have a vote:

The meetings of delegates of the party committees of the KPA and provincial (political bureau) party committees elected General Secretary Kim Jong Il as delegate to the conference of the WPK representing the unanimous will of all the members of the party, servicepersons of the KPA and people.

And there you have it.  So, there’s only one thing left to do.  Dance, dance!  (Also: Revolution!)  As you well know, there ain’t no party like a Communist Party — and Kim knows how to get down.

During the reign of terror of our old friend, Tom DeLay, there was one thought that kept coming to mind: “would somebody take him out to a baseball game or something?”

It was a semi-serious thought.  Everything about the Hammer screamed a single-minded focus on political gain — mostly, through cold, calculating attempts to make the Democratic Party look like a bunch of baby-eating, God-hating, economy-killing monsters.  My strong desire was to see verifiable evidence that Tom DeLay had the capacity to do something fun — in the hope that taking time for the finer things in life would make DeLay less of a jerk.

You see a bit of this in the lip-flapping about Stephen Colbert’s performance on Friday before Congress — as further explained post-jump.

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This is Jim Harbaugh.  He is the head coach for Stanford — who go to South Bend this afternoon to play Notre Dame (1530 EDT, NBC).

“So,” you’re asking, “what does this have to do with the State of the World?”  Well, apart from the fact that he is regarded by all followers of Tree as being PRECISELY WHAT WAS REQUIRED, he has the roadmap that the Democrats should have followed over the last two years, and should follow in the next month and beyond.

Without getting longwinded, Harbaugh’s trick is finding the weak spot in opponents, and then DRIVING IT DOWN THEIR THROAT.  REPEATEDLY.  Cries for sweet mercy go unheeded in Coach Harbaugh’s world — pressing forward until the end is the only way.  Winning by three touchdowns is nice.  Winning by five touchdowns is even better.  66.7% better, in fact.

The Dems?  This week, they said: “maybe we can get everybody to come to some sort of reasonable consensus to achieve common goals.”  They say this every single damn week.  The GOP knows nothing of “reasonable,” “consensus,” “common goals,” or even “everybody.”  Neither does Jim Harbaugh.  Thus endeth the lesson, and the strained connection to Sport, for today.

So, yes: O’Donnell’s past dabbling in witchcraft is now a thing.  She spiked a planned interview this morning with the Love Machine that is Bob Schieffer at the last moment.

My guess at the next shocking revelation? Well, we already knew she rides side-saddle (she is a lady of quality, you know).  But my bet is on…. roasting children!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEalL-toaPI

(Mind you: she still could win in November.  Delaware is small, and filled with banks and Fortune 500 companies willing to give true patriots their country back, at a slight discount, while still retaining a huge profit margin and a substantial ROI.  But, for tonight, the jokes just write themselves.  God Bless America.)

ADD: Let’s play another game… instapoll time, with responses in the comments, please:

If a guy already knows what pleases him, and he can please himself, then why is Christine O’Donnell in the picture?

[Note: responses along the line of “she’s holding the camera wrong” are not acceptable, on account of obviousness.  There’s already one obvious joke in this post; two are not required.  Thank you.]

We’d offer a Carolina Hurricanes theme, but (a) hockey’s still a month off, and (b) I’m still bent about them moving the Whalers out of Hartford.  So it’s a Dixie Chicks reference.  Deal.  Anyway, the 2300 EDT advisory from the one, the only National Hurricane Center… Earl’s packing heat on the order of 140 mph, with hurricane force winds extending about 60 knots out from the eye and pressure at 27.52″.  Best guess is glancing blow at the Outer Banks, then a direct hit for Martha’s Vineyard, Nantucket, and eventually Nova Scotia.  (Because those bastards in Nova Scotia really had it coming, that’s why.)  Evacuations in N.C. to elevate from “if it’s not too much trouble” to “get the FUCK off the island” by tomorrow a.m.

Seeing as I have never, in my life, watched Glenn Beck do ANYTHING (except of course in little snippets on the Daily Show and such), I guess I might be a totally neutral, unbiased observer of today’s doings. Just like Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa of the St. Louis Cardinals, who are going to observe themselves before tonight’s game against the Nats. The announcement of their appearance yesterday caused quite the stir over that Yahoo’s horsehide blog, Big League Stew, as evidenced by this sage comment:

This is non-political in the same way that MLK’s speech was non-political. All Americans with strong morals will find nothing to disagree with. The only people who will be upset are the America-haters and non-Americans. Beck is a modern day Martin Luther King. In the future, we will remember Beck as the great patriot who stood for American values in the face of tyranny. LaRussa and Pujols will go down as brave warriors who withstood the persecution of the liberal media to stand on the side of liberty.

Boy.  This will be ten different kinds of stupid.  Play-by-play, post-jump. Read more »