Last night I had a craving for crabcakes, so after a bit of googling I settled on this recipe:

Ingredients

• 1 LB. LUMP CRABMEAT (DARK LEG MEAT MAY BE USED
• 2 ½ CUPS SOFT BREAD CRUMBS
• 1 EGG, BEATEN
• ¾ CUP MAYONNAISE
• 1/3 CUP EACH: CHOPPED CELERY, GREEN BELL PEPPER, GREEN ONION
• 1 TABLESPOON SEAFOOD SEASONING (OLD BAY PREFERRED)
• 1 TABLESPOON MINCED FRESH PARSLEY
• 1 TABLESPOON LEMON JUICE
• 1 TEASPOON WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE
• 2 TEASPOON YELLOW MUSTARD
• ¼ TEASPOON BLACK PEPPER
• DASH OF HOT PEPPER SAUCE

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Title: “Conservative Victory: Defeating Obama’s Radical Agenda”

Authors: Sean Hannity

Rank: 14

Blurb: “Barack Obama and his radical team of self-professed socialists, fringe activists, and others are trying to remake the American way of life. They have used their new Democratic majority to launch an alarming assault on our capitalist system — while abandoning the war on terror, undermining our national security, and weakening our position in the eyes of our enemies. The ‘candidate of change’ is threatening to change our country irreparably, and for the worse — if we don’t act to stop him now.”

Review: “Either you’re not paying attention or you’re also a liberal statist.”

Customers Also Bought: “How Evil Works: Understanding and Overcoming the Destructive Forces That Are Transforming America,” by David Kupelian (“managing editor of online news giant WorldNetDaily”)

Footnote: Obama seems to be defeating Obama’s Radical Agenda just fine. Get back to us when he does something that reflects why we elected him.

Conservative Victory [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

Alexander M. Haig Jr., Commanding White House Aide, Dies at 85 [NYT]

Sorry for no update yesterday.  Real life interfered. 

Well, we have our first party foul of the Games — Scotty Lago forced back to the States, after the publication of racy photos of him with a woman getting an up-close-and-personal look at his snowboarding bronze medal.  As you know: achievement and dedication are American hallmarks, celebrated especially during the Games.  Another grand American tradition: insufferable prudishness.  God bless America! (Sniff.)

So: what else have we learned?  Team USA-USA-USA has done well thus far — the notable exception being the curlers, who have disappointed.  (The men’s skip got benched.  That’s how bad they have been.)  USA Men’s hockey could win their preliminary group by beating the Canadians tomorrow.  Canada, more broadly, has four golds, and eight medals total.  That’d be enough to call it a successful run at the end of the day, and the Games are only half done.  Great Britain has an individual gold (wimmin’s skeleton, yesterday) — their first in 30 years — and thus can go home happy.  Norway and Sweden are doing well in nordic events — this, of course, is a recording.  Figure skating remains impossible to understand.  And Stephen Colbert is in real danger of becoming overexposed.

Today, then.  The wimmin have their Super-G tonight, and there’s more speedskating.  Lotsa cross-country in the afternoon, along with freestyle aerial skiing.  Curling and hockey throughout as normal.

“My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.”

–Andrea Fay Friedman, the actress who portrayed a young woman with Down Syndrome in a recent episode of The Family Guy that was attacked by Sarah Palin. Friedman suffers from Down syndrome herself. Palin has recently excused conservative talk show hosts who ridicule people with disabilities reasoning that, in their case it’s OK, since they do so “using satire.”

[Stinque Reader Advisory: No snitching.]

Following the CPAC news that Dick Armey is endorsing Mike Lee, we cornered Mike Lee for an exclusive interview.

Please note: These are real, attributable, on-the-record quotes by Mike Lee. You can’t make up this shit.

Stinque: When did you learn that Dick Armey was endorsing Mike Lee?

Mike Lee: Somewhere between googling for gay porn and masturbating on ChatRoulette.

Stinque: Is it true you’re challenging incumbent Senator Bob Bennett in the Utah primary?

Mike Lee: Who? What? Utah? Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t think I can afford enough Purell to shake the hands of all those pigfuckers.

Stinque: Don’t you wear magic underwear?

Mike Lee: It’s not as magic as advertised, unless God loves racing stripes.

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We’ll skip the Shillong jokes, mainly because they’re better heard than written:

The government in the Indian state of Meghalaya has confiscated textbooks showing pictures of Jesus Christ holding a cigarette and a can of beer.

The book has been used for primary classes and has caused a furore in the north-eastern state, where more than 70% of the population are Christians…

The controversial picture of Jesus was discovered in cursive writing exercise books being used at a private school in the state capital, Shillong.

As it happens, that particular image is not hard to find online, which makes us wonder whether there’s an innocent mistake involved — we could easily insult Hindis or Muslims if we weren’t paying attention.

On the other hand — dayum. Now there’s a dude we could have a conversation with.

Indian state confiscates ‘blasphemous’ Jesus textbooks [BBC]