Lacking some decent porn news to post later tonight, let’s check in instead on a couple of ongoing political handjobs.

First up: John McCain, last seen aghast that Al Franken would cut off Douchebag Joe mid-douche:

I’ve been around here 20-some years. First time I’ve ever seen a member denied an extra minute or two to finish his remarks.

You don’t wave a red flag like that in front of an army of pissed-off bloggers without somebody finding the dirt:

The PRESIDING OFFICER. The Senator’s time has expired.

Mr. DAYTON. I ask for unanimous consent that I have 30 seconds more to finish my remarks.

Mr. McCAIN. I object.

October 10, 2002. But wait — there’s more! What was at issue? Nothing more than the Iraq War authorization.

Read more »

This was supposed to be Global Warming Week, at least until Droopy distracted everybody:

A senior Obama administration official says the U.S., China, India and South Africa have reached a “meaningful agreement” on climate change.

The official characterized the deal as a first step, but said it was not enough to combat the threat of a warming planet.

Details of the deal with these emerging economies were not immediately clear.

Ah, yes, the First Step. Whereas Kyoto was a slip in the mud.

Source: US, China, India, South Africa reach deal [AP/TPM]

Update: Move along, nothing to see here, citizens…

Read more »

It doesn’t take a professional linguist to notice that Sarah Palin’s Facebook posts and op-ed columns are too coherent to be believed, but for months, the part of “Sarah Palin” was played exclusively by her ghostwriters.

But thank the Abominable Snowman, she returned to Twitter recently, where the real Sarah, the Sarah we know and loathe, bubbles up like oil in the tundra:

AK has18″new powder!So cut sunny vacation short(thanks, desperate paparazzi)Back early2enjoy AK snow&sparkle&Christmas prep!It all works out

Upon rtn2 AK glad2hear Legislr fights Fed’s“Endangered Species Act”listing w/all-out effort!Fed’s efforts 2 stymie r devlpmnt is unaccptable

Amidst Hanukkah&Christmas festivities,don’t lose sight:“Trace the universe back 2 God’s power&follow His power upstream 2 His wisdom”-Lucado

About that not losing sight part — what happens if we’ve already gouged out our eyes?

SarahPalinUSA [Twitter]

You can be forgiven for thinking that the task of choosing a political commenter of the decade would be a difficult one, what with luminaries like William Kristol and Charles Krauthammer continually churning out awesome copy that suffers only from the slight inconvenience of being wrong 98% of the time.

But in fact, Chuck Norris makes it easy to cut through the Gordian knot of worthy commentary and choose a winner. And that’s because no one brings the krayzeee quite like Norris brings the krayzee. Consider, for instance, Norris’ latest contribution to the esteemed conservative journal of laughable opinion, Human Events. It is quite sensibly titled What If Mother Mary Had Obamacare? and makes the perfectly reasonable observation that if Mother Mary had access to affordable health insurance she would surely have used it to abort baby Jesus in a shameful and completely selfish bid to avoid being stoned to death for adultery: Read more »

Now that the Public Option has been redacted from healthcare reform like a Sharpie on a visor, focus is shifting to the screw-you provision “individual mandate,” which would require folks to buy health insurance or face a penalty. And while there are reasonable arguments to be made for the Mandate, one we fear we’re going to be hearing too much about is the comparison to car insurance.

States require citizens to buy car insurance, after all, so what’s the problem?

Just one: States do not require citizens to buy car insurance.

Was that unclear?

STATES DO NOT REQUIRE CITIZENS TO BUY CAR INSURANCE.

But how can that be? How can one of the major talking points of healthcare reform’s Individual Mandate be so easily undermined?

Read more »

It’s been a while for a post from me.  Sorry — work, work, no usable internet connection at work, work.  So I need to come back with a bang.

In that spirit, I offer the greatest thing ever.  Hurry Hard Condoms, sponsored by — yes — USA Curling.  (Curling is that sport that everybody falls in love with during the Winter Olympics after they get sick of wall-to-wall figure skating, and is the second national sport of Canada City.  It’s the one with rocks that people sweep, with brooms, up and down the ice, with people yelling HURRY! and HARD! at the sweepers.  Hence, the humor.)

There’s other curling jargon that is appropriate here, such as “the button,” “double takeout,” “hack,” “pebble,” “swingy,” and “biter.”  But I will leave that alone and leave you to contemplate whether curlers actually get any, thus necessitating the need for Hurry Hard Condoms.

[Noted: the condoms were released as a part of awareness-raising for World AIDS Day a couple of weeks ago.  So I should feel awful for poking fun, and you should feel awful for the laughs (pity or otherwise).  We are all AWFUL.]

[Also noted: while I was in Madison, I curled for a year.  It’s a great sport played by, well, almost uniformly dull people.  But curling is kind of out there.  Indie rock for accountants and insurance salesmen, perhaps.  And it is one of the ways good Wisconsinites and Minnesotans take out their aggression without killing animals.  So there’s that.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO7WXYrZGVI

How dare we have an opinion about our leaders!

I think that a lot of those people are troublemakers who love to sit in the backseat and complain. They’re not interested in governing this country. They never ran for office, they’re not interested in working for somebody in public office. They get their giggles from sitting in the backseat and bitching.

Dear Tweety,

I am an American citizen. Fuck you.

Cordially,

Nojo

Matthews: The netroots ‘get their giggles from sitting in the backseat and bitching.’ [ThinkProgress]