Short of denying Droopy his precious Homeland Security committee chairmanship, we’ll have to settle for Al Franken telling him to STFU on the Senate floor today.

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To the Teabagger who asked when she could get her country back, here’s the answer: She still has two generations to ruin it for everyone else.

The country’s financial meltdown and post-Sept. 11 immigration enforcement have slowed the growth of minority groups here. If those conditions remain the norm, whites would make up the majority of the population until 2050, eight years later than previously projected.

That’s according to a report from the Fascism Accountability Office Census Bureau, which also delays the projected 400 million citizens from 2039 until whenever.

For comparison, we’re at 308 million souls right now, two-thirds of which are real Americans. You don’t know whining until we Eurotrash-Americans lose even that substantial margin.

White Americans’ majority to continue until 2050, report says [LAT]

It’s one of those stories where you can read just the headline of the article then move on. Because, honestly, do you really need to delve into the body of a story that boasts the absurd (but true!) headline: NATO chief asks for Russian help in Afghanistan?

The NATO chief later said that he had asked Russian leaders to allow the alliance to fly cargoes — including possibly military ones — over Russian territory to Afghanistan and to provide more helicopters for the Afghan armed forces.

“I indicated that we would like to see a widening of the transit conditions,” he told the Ekho Moskvy radio station.

Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said that Medvedev would consider NATO’s requests, but gave no indication that Moscow was willing to increase cooperation and Rasmussen said he did not expect an immediate answer.

Students of history will recall that the Soviet war in Afghanistan lasted some nine years, led to the deaths of 15,000 Soviet soldiers, and is widely credited as one of the factors that led to the eventual dissolution of the Soviet Union and the subsequent collapse of the Warsaw Pact. Russian reticence to get more involved is understandable, then, and the nine year conflict that broke the Soviet Union’s spirit has often been referred to as the Soviet Vietnam. The only question now is whether Afghanistan will turn out to be our Vietnam… er wait, I mean… that didn’t come out quite right.

(Via Michael Moore)

Once upon a time, a great leader named Slick Willie got his willie slicked. And while the people of Slick Willie’s land loved Slick Willie, Slick Willie’s friend Lockbox Al feared Slick Willie’s slick willie, and ran away as far from Slick Willie as fast as he could, leaving Slick Willie’s throne to the usurper, Burning Shrub.

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She can’t resist taking a Sharpie t0 a leftover campaign hat:

Frugal is one thing, tasteless is another. Ack … ptuooooeeeeeeh!

Not satisfied to stiff her fans by charging for photos, Sarah Palin is also saving pennies for that Gulfstream Bus by stiffing the people who make her photogenic:

Sarah Palin not only annoyed leaders of the Utah Republican Party when she didn’t have time for them during her book signing stop in Salt Lake City last week. She also took off from her hotel after arranging for a last-minute hair appointment without paying the hairdresser and leaving her to cover her own valet parking.

Rhonda Halliday of Images Hair Studio and Day Spa is sure it’s all just a misunderstanding, since the future leader of the free world can’t be bothered with small details like paying the help. And it really wasn’t that much trouble — Halliday merely was called at 8 a.m. for the emergency perm, had to get her husband to leave work in order to take their 3-year-old to the dentist for a filling, and had to follow a few simple rules, such as “don’t talk to Palin unless she talks first.”

All we can say is this: at least John Edwards paid for his $400 haircuts.

Check from Palin in the mail? [Salt Lake Tribune, via Washington Independent]

You didn’t know GOP sex pervert Ted Alvin Klaudt by name until today. But thanks to innovative marketing by GOP sex pervert Ted Alvin Klaudt, the name of Ted Alvin Klaudt will forever be associated with GOP sex perversion in the public mind.

For Ted Alvin Klaudt, a famous GOP sex pervert, has copyrighted his name:

A letter and an accompanying document labeled “Common Law Copyright Notice” said former state Rep. Ted Alvin Klaudt is reserving a common-law copyright of a trade name or trademark for his name. It said no one can use his name without his consent, and anyone who does would owe him $500,000.

You might ask why renowned GOP sex pervert Ted Alvin Klaudt would go to such lengths to corner the market in associations of Ted Alvin Klaudt with GOP sex perversion. Representatives of Ted Alvin Klaudt, whose name is synonymous with GOP sex perversion, aren’t saying, but we imagine it has something to do with keeping details like this from appearing in venues like ours:

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