The Blowjob Effect
Once upon a time, a great leader named Slick Willie got his willie slicked. And while the people of Slick Willie’s land loved Slick Willie, Slick Willie’s friend Lockbox Al feared Slick Willie’s slick willie, and ran away as far from Slick Willie as fast as he could, leaving Slick Willie’s throne to the usurper, Burning Shrub.
We know what happened next: Burning Shrub made such a botch of the job that there arose from the land a new great leader, Unicorn Barry. And Unicorn Barry promised the people Peace, Love, and Understanding, contingent upon executive prerogatives established by Burning Shrub’s minions, and as long as Douchebag Joe agreed.
If only Slick Willie hadn’t had his willie slicked, life in the land would have been different. Lockbox Al would have assumed the throne, solving all the problems besieging the people, and leaving only the triumph of healthcare-for-all to his successor:
Douchebag Joe.
See, that’s the problem with counterfactual history: We keep ending up in the same place.
Smarty-pants.
Well, blow me down and call me Mabel. What to think?
maybe what joe needs is a blowjob.
Im not volunteering Im just sayin.
@Capt Howdy: After the invaluable service snakeface Joe rendered for her insurance industry clients, Mrs. Lieberman is probably gaggling savagely on Joe’s scaly schlong.
@FlyingChainSaw: Please, please, think of my sanity. What there is left of it.
Preznit Lieberman?
So basically, we (as in the world) are fucked either way.
But it was lockbox Al who elevated Joementum to national recognition, Al believing that he needed a sanctimonious shithead VP on the ticket to get the stink of Clinton off him. If noone ever noticed Joe, they would never have paid him enough attention to even despise him, and he would have no vengeful vendetta going on against the liberals who primaried him.
@Prommie: Algore was a fucking loser. Kerry was a fucking loser. The right are evil and stop at nothing. When you have no conscience or morals you have the freedom to wage campaigns free of any restrictions. It helps when our side is capable of only sending up weenies or . . . “centrists” . . .
/spits
“I agree with Governor Bush . . . ”
Gore in the October 11, 2000 debate
That line on school accountability has never left my mind.
Yes, let us never forget that Joe was almost just A Heartbeat Away.
@Benedick:
The CIA has apparently infiltrated Mother Jones. Next cover? A call to switch to an all nuclear power grid….
Speaking of Slick Willie, Monica’s back
@SanFranLefty:
Ken Starr incompetent? Who knew?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Only the sane parts... like the West coast, New England (minus the Bruins and…
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.