GOP Tantrums

100 Days of EPIC! LOSING! Precedent FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! Feels Really Bad About Everything So Write Letters to Him Encouraging Him to Jump Off of The 14th Street Bridge

TRUMP IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND AN EMBARRASSMENT TO HUMANITY!

DUCKY! DUCKY! Did you see my Pooteecakes? Oh, FUCK! DUCKY! get him on the phone for me, pretty please!

Strange, Orange and Bloated, FUCKFACE von CLOWNSTICK wanders the halls of the White House alone babbling nonsensically about the forces of evil arrayed against him, comforted only by staffers who jump out of potted plants in the hallways wearing Vladimir Putin masks and offering to sodomize him, according to Politico.com

The insane trust-fund twit is apparently upset that AMERICA! refused to shoot itself in the face because he, THE! PLENIPOTENTIARY! would find that amusing and would fund important new sources of revenue for people he wants to impress who likely regard him as less valuable as a Hershey squirt stain on a pair of St Vincent de Paul thrift shop boxer shorts.

Read more »

Wide Stance is All Official Senate Business

Ex-Idaho Senator Larry Craig (R-Closet) is arguing that his infamous trip to the john in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport in July 2007 was “official Senate business” and therefore it was okay to take almost a quarter of a million dollars out of his campaign fund and use it to pay for his legal defense.

The Federal Elections Commission begs to differ, stating that his legal defense in the sex-sting case had nothing to do with his official duties.

Fuck the money, all I can ask is, “It’s already been five years since wide stance?”

My, how time slips away.

[SF Chronicle]

House Un-American Activities Homeland Security Committee Open Thread

If anyone’s watching at home, New York Congressman Peter King (R-IRA), Chair of the Homeland Security Committee, has started his witchhunt hearings on Mooslems in Amerikuh.

For those of you with stronger stomachs, you can watch it live on C-SPAN or CNN. For the rest of us, enjoy this picture of Peter King back in the good old days hanging with some of his buddies in Belfast:

Don’t Mess with Miss Piggy

Sen. Jim DeMint (R-South Crackolina Idiocy) announced on his blog Wednesday that he won’t be intimidated by the “Muppet Lobby” fighting the Republican proposal to eliminate all funding for public broadcasting.

Obviously, he’s never seen The Muppets.  Miss Piggy will KICK.YOUR.ASS:

[Left Action: I Stand with the Muppet Lobby]

A Growing Controversy

The Villagers are in a snit:

Thursday’s Post reported about a growing controversy over the Justice Department’s decision to scale down a voter-intimidation case against members of the New Black Panther Party. The story succinctly summarized the issues but left many readers with a question: What took you so long?

Travelgate? Nothing there. Vince Foster? Nothing there. Whitewater? Nothing there. ACORN-pimp kerfuffle? Nothing there, unless you count the lawsuit against the pimp/whore filed by the guy who lost his job. Black Panther voter intimidation case? You tell me.

Another conservative tantrum over nothing.

Why the Silence from the Post on the Black Panther Story? [WaPo]

Senate Held Hostage: Day Six

Is Jim Bunning through with his private elevator rides yet? No? Well, fine. Let’s enjoy some super slo-mo doggies jumping for treats while we wait.

Dems United, Republicans Split, By Bunning Benefits Blockade [TPM]

Talks under way on jobless benefit deal, senator says [CNN]

You Can Call Me Senator from Minnesota

Short of denying Droopy his precious Homeland Security committee chairmanship, we’ll have to settle for Al Franken telling him to STFU on the Senate floor today.

Read more »