100 Days of EPIC! LOSING! Precedent FUCKFACE! von CLOWNSTICK! Feels Really Bad About Everything So Write Letters to Him Encouraging Him to Jump Off of The 14th Street Bridge
Strange, Orange and Bloated, FUCKFACE von CLOWNSTICK wanders the halls of the White House alone babbling nonsensically about the forces of evil arrayed against him, comforted only by staffers who jump out of potted plants in the hallways wearing Vladimir Putin masks and offering to sodomize him, according to Politico.com
The insane trust-fund twit is apparently upset that AMERICA! refused to shoot itself in the face because he, THE! PLENIPOTENTIARY! would find that amusing and would fund important new sources of revenue for people he wants to impress who likely regard him as less valuable as a Hershey squirt stain on a pair of St Vincent de Paul thrift shop boxer shorts.
Politico reported that von Clownstick is shouting condemnations at all the assholes who failed him on his staff by not being able to convince every member of Congress to commit political suicide so he could tweet happily about all the aged and infirm AMERICA!ns who were going to die grim, needless and meaningless deaths for his entertainment.
Brain-damaged Melissa McCarthy imitator Sean Spiker apparently had a seizure, too.
Clearly it is time to send some good cheer to these people. Please send a note to this address, addressed to Big Fat Dopey Donald Trump: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500
The note needs to be uplifting reminding THE! PLENIPOTENTIARY! that everyone in the universe regards him as a repulsive buffoon and Melanoma is boffing the Cuban guy she met washing the stairs at Trump Tower and he might as well jump off of the 14th Street bridge.