This Time Next Year, Trump Will Be Found in a Blood-Drenched Wedding Dress, His Rectum Dangling Out His Ass, and His Dick Nailed to His Face, Chained to a Pipe in the Shower in Allenwood

Donald Trump in the wedding dress he will have worn to his first day in prison whereupon he would be raped to death by people with taste, class and a sense of justice.

File Photo of Inmate Donald Trump arriving at Allenwood Penitentiary to Serve a 153,033 Year Sentence for Treason.

Sure, sports fans we can laugh at the demented buffoon but this piece of shit is going down hard for treason, dozens of charges of engrossment by a public servant, structuring, bribery and obstruction of justice.

I’d give odds, but this isn’t even a bet.

I’ll buy everyone a coke when the report comes in after he is found dead, chained to a pipe in the shower at Allenwood.

Because that is how TRUMPLIGULA! is going to go down.

Unless you’ve got a more wonderful vision of how fuckface will meet his end.

16 Comments

From FlyingChainSaw’s lips to FlyingSpaghettiMonster’s ears

As long as there aren’t any pubes in on the coke.

Bake Twitler alive, then force feed him to his Cabinet of Despicables just before entombing them all underneath DC’s most disgusting garbage dump.*

*Fixed

I worry that Pence, who is smart and evil, may be competent at getting things done.

@BorowitzReport: White House Denies Any Ties to United States

@Dodgerblue: They’re wreaking what havoc they can, but I’m gaining confidence that anything irrevocably devastating can be successfully resisted.

My own timeline still has Pence pardoning turkeys this Thanksgiving — just in time for the 2018 election season to heat up, and too late to try anything risky without serious blowback.

And any circumstances that result in President Pence don’t bode well for Congressional elections, even midterms with gerrymandering. Caution remains warranted, but Pence would need to dig himself out of a hole before shoveling shit at the rest of us.

@nojo: Making the rounds: Cards Against Humanity threatening to buy Congress’s browser history and warns of crowdsourcing sites claiming to do so.

https://twitter.com/MaxTemkin/status/846437803164684290

People are donating (not to this guy) like crazy. He’s trying to get them to donate to EFF and ACLU instead. Meanwhile, $ is going to these crowdsourcing sites. Ugh.

And we called the MAGA people stupid.

@¡Andrew!: Hey – are you going to be around this weekend? The dog and I are staying over in S. Seattle/Renton and going to Mercer Island probably Sat early, Sat afternoon, and Sunday morning. Luther Burbank Park has an off-leash area with water access.

And WTF will toll bridges? There’s no effin toll plaza so I get a bill. Weird ass state.

@JNOV: And we called the MAGA people stupid.

Hello, Jill Stein voters!

Gullibility knows no political bounds. Extremists are extremists, idiots are idiots. I grew up among Lefty Idiots, and they considered me an archconservative for calling them out on their idiocy. But that was Eugene, where they flourish. Nationwide, they’re all but meaningless.

@JNOV: Yes! Luther Burbank is a great park, too. They even have a dawg washin’ station for muddy paws. Mercer Island is high cla$$. Does Saturday about 10 am sound good?

@¡Andrew!: YUP! I’ll get in touch with you when we are settled in tomorrow evening, probably around 8 pm.

We might already be at the park on Saturday at 10 am. No worries, we’ll still be there until she staggers like a drunk, go back to hotel for a nap, and then back to the water.

Update: Both Senator Murray and Senator Cantwell will filibuster GoSuck.

YEEESSS!

Patty and Maria may be as sick of gabbing with me on the phone as I am of calling (no, you hang up first!), but at least it worked.

Down with GoSuck!

/in other nooz/

Rumor has it that Mike “Foreign Agent” Flynn is now begging for immunity in exchange for flipping on Twitler and the FBI has told him to shove it.

Meanwhile the source of Nunes leaked non-intel were two White Trash House staffers. Why does anyone give a fuck if the Tdump Crime Family was incidently legally surveilled in the first place??? Other than proving the Orange A$$hole is the bigliest liar on planet Earth.

How can this evil, treasonous regime have only been in power two months–it feels more like two years!

@¡Andrew!: The only reason to grant immunity is to (ahem) finger the boss. I haven’t heard yet that the FBI turned Flynn down, but it would be huge news if they took him up on it.

Oh, there’s another reason as well: Derail the investigation. I don’t know procedures here, but Nunes could pull a move by granting Flynn immunity for House testimony, Flynn has nothing interesting to say, but — surprise! — he’s now happily out of reach of prosecution.

Of course, Nunes isn’t smart enough to think of that. But Bannon is.

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