Masters of the Universe

CHILD MOLESTING SENATORS ARE NOT ENOUGH TO SAVE AMERICA! Congress Desperately Needs Cannibals, Arsonists, Rapists, Mass Murderers, Bestial Goat-Tweetee Lappers and Bug-Eyed Necrophiliacs From Outer Space To Make America Great Again!

Flambargh! TWAK! KILL! KILL! ALL! LIBBIES!

Meet Flambargh! TWAK!, skull crushing neomedievalist mass murderer from the planet Rectal 9, soon to be Senate Arms Services Committee Chair..

Roy Moore is only the first mutant freak from hell that TRUMPLIGULA! will herd into the House and Senate to transform the Congress from a deliberative organization to a barnyard of howling freaks and face-eating monsters, mostly from neoconfederate states that have been emboldened by the neonazi ravings of TRUMPLIGULA!.

In fact, as sane human beings are dissuaded from engaging in politics in AMERICA! and the entire enterprise descends into howling madness, the only entrees into congressional races we can expect from here on out are face-eating maniacs, arsonists, mass murderers, cannibals, arsonists,  bestial goat-lapping tweetee rappers and bug-eyed necrophiliacs to MAGA!

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One Giant Fucking Leap for Mankind

Holy Shit! Man Walks on Fucking Moon! [The Onion]

Lego Man Aloft

In Canada, this will totally get you laid:

Starring Elizabeth Warren as Jimmy Stewart

Not since the bank run in It’s a Wonderful Life have we seen such a concise explanation of how the American system works:

I hear all this, you know, “Well, this is class warfare, this is…” whatever. No. There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own — nobody. You built a factory out there? Good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police-forces and fire-forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn’t have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory — and hire someone to protect against this — because of the work the rest of us did.

In case that gives you a debilitating case of Warm Fuzzies, may be recommend Ned Beatty’s speech in Network as a chaser?

[via Weigel]

Kiss Your Democracy Goodbye…

“A federal court in Alexandria, Va. on Thursday struck down a federal ban on corporate campaign contributions, in a case with potentially dramatic ramifications for a campaign finance regulatory system under siege by legal and regulatory attacks.” [Politico]

O Plutocrats for Specious Skives

While you’re enjoying the filibuster, a look back at a recent Bernie Sanders claim:

“Mr. President, in the year 2007, the top 1 percent of all income earners in the United States made 23.5 percent of all income,” Sanders said. “The top 1 percent earned 23.5 percent of all income — more than the entire bottom 50 percent. That is apparently not enough. The percentage of income going to the top 1 percent has nearly tripled since the 1970s. In the mid-1970s, the top 1 percent earned about 8 percent of all income. In the 1980s, that figure jumped to 14 percent. In the late 1990s, that 1 percent earned about 19 percent.”

And the Truth-o-Meter scores it… True.

Bernie Sanders, in viral speech, says top 1 percent earn more than 23 percent of U.S. income [PolitiFact, via Gen JC Christian]

Our Little Round-Eyed Friends Will Buy Anything

Our little Taiwanese animator friends nail the Yellow Peril Casting Call commercial. We, for one, welcome our new Panda Overlords.

[via Fallows]