“My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.”

–Andrea Fay Friedman, the actress who portrayed a young woman with Down Syndrome in a recent episode of The Family Guy that was attacked by Sarah Palin. Friedman suffers from Down syndrome herself. Palin has recently excused conservative talk show hosts who ridicule people with disabilities reasoning that, in their case it’s OK, since they do so “using satire.”

[Stinque Reader Advisory: No snitching.]

Following the CPAC news that Dick Armey is endorsing Mike Lee, we cornered Mike Lee for an exclusive interview.

Please note: These are real, attributable, on-the-record quotes by Mike Lee. You can’t make up this shit.

Stinque: When did you learn that Dick Armey was endorsing Mike Lee?

Mike Lee: Somewhere between googling for gay porn and masturbating on ChatRoulette.

Stinque: Is it true you’re challenging incumbent Senator Bob Bennett in the Utah primary?

Mike Lee: Who? What? Utah? Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t think I can afford enough Purell to shake the hands of all those pigfuckers.

Stinque: Don’t you wear magic underwear?

Mike Lee: It’s not as magic as advertised, unless God loves racing stripes.

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We’ll skip the Shillong jokes, mainly because they’re better heard than written:

The government in the Indian state of Meghalaya has confiscated textbooks showing pictures of Jesus Christ holding a cigarette and a can of beer.

The book has been used for primary classes and has caused a furore in the north-eastern state, where more than 70% of the population are Christians…

The controversial picture of Jesus was discovered in cursive writing exercise books being used at a private school in the state capital, Shillong.

As it happens, that particular image is not hard to find online, which makes us wonder whether there’s an innocent mistake involved — we could easily insult Hindis or Muslims if we weren’t paying attention.

On the other hand — dayum. Now there’s a dude we could have a conversation with.

Indian state confiscates ‘blasphemous’ Jesus textbooks [BBC]

Tim Pawlenty, second-string veep contender to Sarah Palin, shows that maybe John McCain made a better choice than we thought:

Conservatives could learn a lot from Tiger Woods’ wife Elin, Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty said at the Conservative Political Action Conference today.

“She said, I’ve had enough,” Pawlenty said. “We should take a page out of her playbook and take a 9-iron and smash the window out of big government.”

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Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Pornographic magazine model Sen Scott Brown (R-Raytheon) went on Neil Cavuto’s Fox News hatecast yesterday to rationalize the teabagger kamikaze attack on the IRS building in Austin, describing it as a precipitate of the opacity and diabolical nature of the current administration.

When Cavuto asked Brown to comment on teabagger kamikaze Joe Stack’s daylight attack on an IRS office in a single-engine plane that left at least one person dead and a number wounded, the naked senator went for the narcissistic angle first and then the psychopathic.

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We spent some quality time last night debating with ourself the best way to frame an Important Discussion about student rights in cyberspace, using three recent examples:

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Everything in this world is connected in the weirdest ways, as you are aware.  Take, for example, Johnny Weir, whose tortured soul will be on display tonight.  He’s skated in many tournaments in his life, against many different skaters.  One of these skaters — who skated in several U.S. Championships with Johnny over the years — is a guy by the name of Derrick Delmore.  Two salient facts about Derrick: he was three doors down from me in my freshman dorm at The Farm, and he was raised in a town in Maryland known as Silver Spring.  As you all know, Silver Spring is also the name of a song made famous by Fleetwood Mac, and was specifically was recorded during the sessions for the album that would become Rumours.

This week, Rumours was named as one of the top ten albums by, oddly enough, L’Osservatore Romano.  This paper is, of course, published by The Vatican.  And who runs The Vatican?

Yes, friends.  Johnny Weir to Pope Benedict XVI in six steps.

[For those people who say that the song is actually called “Silver Springs” — phooey.  You’re no fun.  And incidentally — does the Pope know that Fleetwood Mac did enough drugs during the Rumours sessions to make Keith Richards cry?  And that the band members basically engaged in as much adultery as is humanly possible?]

Anyways: open thread for sequins and spandex — plus a replay of whatever Lindsey Vonn pulled off and Hannah Teter’s shot at gold in the halfpipe.  (No SI Swimsuit picture here of Hannah.  The Pope would not approve.  Maybe tomorrow.)