WARNING: Vegetarians, animal lovers, or squeamish folks, read this post at your own risk.

Intrepid reporters from Canada City report that Sarah Palin and her father will not be subject to an investigation by the Alaska Department of Fish and Game for possible violation of a state law that prohibits the “wanton waste of big-game meat,” described as “an extremely serious offense punishable by a fine of up to $10,000 and one year in jail.”

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Body turns up in landfill, TV plot ensues:

Police in Delaware have discovered evidence that a former Pentagon aide may have been involved in an attempted arson days before his murder, a law enforcement source has told The Inquirer.

Police found evidence linking John Parsons Wheeler 3d to devices planted at the New Castle home of a neighbor with whom he had been feuding, said the source, who is close to the investigation. The feud was over the size of the neighbor’s house, which was under construction in the city’s historic district.

And who is John Parsons Wheeler 3d? Well, among many other things, he was chairman of the organizing committee for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, and the first CEO of Mothers Against Drunk Driving. He also worked on a book with The Atlantic’s James Fallows, who posted a remembrance Monday.

Man found in landfill tied to arson attempt [Philadelphia Inquirer]

This morning’s email blast from The Flunky to The Preznit of These United States:

Our progress is under attack.

Their majority is not even a day old, but House Republicans are already getting ready to pass a bill to repeal health reform.

Quickly followed by this morning’s news:

The Obama administration, reversing course, will revise a Medicare regulation to delete references to end-of-life planning as part of the annual physical examinations covered under the new health care law, administration officials said Tuesday.

Memo to House Republicans: You win.

U.S. Alters Rule on Paying for End-of-Life Planning [NYT]

“ABC News has learned that Bachmann, R-Minn., also is seriously weighing whether to seek the Republican nomination for president in 2012.”

We’ve been blissing out the past couple weekends to podcasts from The Nerdist — thanks, Apple TV! — and somebody mentioned in passing a classic Onion video we somehow missed the first time, but are proud to present on this, the first day of the Zombie Apocalypse 112th Congress.

OK, Stinquers — a quick contest for big money AND fabulous prizes:

Tomorrow, as Nancy Pelosi hands off the gavel to John Boehner, Agent Orange will give a speech outlining what he intends to do with the next two years.  We all know what he’s going to say, sort of.  But the big question is…

AT WHAT POINT WILL HE LOSE CONTROL OF HIMSELF AND START WEEPING?

Rules are simple.  When the handoff happens, invariably there will be a standing ovation.  As soon as that standing-o stops and he starts flapping his gums, the clock starts.  “Weeping” defined as (a) actual tears or (b) unplanned stoppage in speech for more than two seconds as he tries to collect himself COMBINED WITH acts incidental to weeping (deep breath, sniffling, etc.).

Put your predictions — quoted in minutes and seconds — in the comments.  The Price Is Right scoring rules are in effect: closest to the actual weeping time, without going over, will win.  (Addendum: taking a competitor’s time and adding one second would be frowned upon, yet be totes hilarious at the same time.)  Example:

A — 4:30 // B — 5:30 // C — 5:31

Actual weeping time 5:15 — A wins… and gets to play PLINKO!

(No actual prizes, of course.  So there.)

As I will be judging, I will throw out an obviously wrong answer and declare that he gets through the speech without shedding a single tear.  Not even so much as a manly sniffle.  The rest of you: put some real responses in there.  Bonne chance!

[CNN]