Santa Cruz deputy police chief describes the worst California biker violence in a decade: “It was all about who would be allowed to hang out at the Starbucks downtown. The Vagos brazenly came in and tried to cement their presence… Only in Santa Cruz would you have biker wars over who’s going to control pumpkin spice lattes.” [Reuters, via LuxMentis]

[Salt Lake Tribune, via Political Wire]

As we noted recently, Tim Pawlenty’s videographer made a bad career move switching to Rick Perry, because you expect Perry videos to look like they were directed by Michael Bay. Although now that Deranger Rick is trailing Newt – Newt! – in the polls, we might get some entertainment yet out of their misplaced bombast.

But the Ambitious Young Editor’s work is quickly being eclipsed by the comic genius behind Herman Cain!’s videos, which, following the instant classic of Thank Me for Smoking, are receiving renewed critical attention.

So we present for your viewing pleasure Not Without My Chicken!, a delightful romp that leaves us wondering whether the Herman Cain! campaign is less Andy Kaufman, and more The Producers. Because with material like this, surely the last thing they expect is to win.

[via Mother Jones]

A 21-year-old (obviously drunk, obviously unnamed) man had to be cut out of a children’s swing set in a Vallejo, CA park this weekend after getting stuck in the seat during an ill-fated $100 bet with friends.  Around 9 pm on Friday, the man greased up his legs with liquid detergent and got in the bucket seat, but then his legs started swelling, he became stuck, and he could not get out of the seat. His friends left him there, and it wasn’t until 6 am Saturday morning that a groundskeeper heard him screaming.  The Vallejo fire fighters who showed up decided that rather than try to cut him out of the seat on the scene, they would cut the chains and transport him to the hospital still in the chair, wearing a giant rubber diaper.

No word yet if he got the 100 bucks.

[SF Chronicle]

Our guest columnist consists of plastic bricks.

My name is Ego Leonard and according to you I come from the virtual world. A world that for me represents happiness, solidarity, all green and blossoming, with no rules or limitations.

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“Those people in the Republican primary have got to lay off of this stuff. They’re forcing their leaders, the frontrunners, into positions that will mean they lose the general election…They’ve got to stop this! It’s just so counterproductive!” Ladies and gentlemen, Pat Robertson. [ThinkProgress]

If, like me, you have no idea what a Godfather’s pizza tastes like or even where such a consumable artifact might be purchased the Elitist Smartypants Institute has got your back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6X5tAXuY6QM

Kind of makes you rethink quiche, mes amies.

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