News You Can Self-Abuse

It’s Always Followed By a Crash

Is that an Excel sheet in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

[via Silent Creative Partner]

Happy Masturbation Month, Y’all!

Did you know that May is International Masturbation Month?

Well, what are you waiting for?

Get going, go on there and celebrate it!

[Good Vibrations via SFist]

That’s a Funny-Looking Dog

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!

[WJHL, via Political Wire]

Oh, The Humanity!

[CNET]

There’ll Always Be a New York

[NY Post]

Tina Brown Goes Down

Newsweek’s Cover Is…A Bit Much [Buzzfeed]

Well, That Would Out-Gay the First Gay President

[Politico]