May God have mercy on Nojo and Pedonator, because we’ll be photoblogging from the belly of the beast starting at 6 p.m. Eastern. The event itself begins at Qualcomm Stadium in the morning, but no way in hell are we getting up early for it.

The Call

Pre-election prayer day set [SD Union-Tribune]

Thousands to Pray, Fast Together for California Marriage Protection [Christian Post]

Center Stage [Gay & Lesbian Times]

No on 8

What you will need:

• rose petals
• one red candle
• black passion incense
• an athame (ceremonial dagger)

How it works:

Make a circle with the rose petals. Use the athame to draw energy. Once this is done, you recite:

“The circle is cast and we are now between worlds, beyond the bounds of time, where night and day, birth and death, joy and sorrow meet as one. It is in this place we invoke the tantric powers of Hecate. And now we are as one. So mote it be!”

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Fucking Psycho Talibunny Whimpers Marxist Press is Mean to Her. Therefore, the First Amendment is doomed!

The Talibunny, a confused theocratic fascist from the socialist state of Alaska transformed by her vice presidential candidacy into the comedic sensation of a lifetime, whimpered on a fascist radio show in Washington, DC Friday morning that her First Amendment right to shout mendacious political porno is being threatened by reporters who question the veracity of her claims, for example, that Barack Osama is a space alien who will eat voters’ babies if elected president.

For the Talibunny, it is all a huge conspiracy by the Marxist Elite Media who would step on the throats of the righteous and godly that would speak the truth about the depthless evil that stalks America: godless Marxist reporters who hate America attacking her sooth-saying as ‘negative’ campaigning. What would be left of our freedoms if we could not quote from ‘The Protocols of the Elders of Zion’ in every speech and call for the internment of all residents of the United States with three or more vowels in their names without reporters wafting their farts at us?

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"Oh, Studs!" (long story)

Studs Terkel dies [Chicago Tribune]

Now it can be told: The shocking truth behind our nation’s zombie-fighting efforts:

Vampires arrived in the United States with the first European settlers and followed the general population shifts of Americans in the early days of the Republic. During this time, fighting vampires was a task left to individual bounty hunters and local militias known as the Vampire National Guard.

As the country grew and became increasingly urbanized, a more ambitious vampire abatement program became necessary. The Copper Creek Seige of 1855, in which vampires took over an entire California mining town, underscored the country’s need for an organized, well-trained force to combat the growing plague. The Civil War delayed implementation until 1868, when President Ulysses S. Grant officially formed the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency.

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A. “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakehandlers in my motherfucking government!”

B. “No on Prop 8. The very worst there is. When you absolutely, positively got to piss off every motherfucking sensible person in the room… accept no substitutes.”

C. “DO YOU ACT… LIKE… A BITCH?!” [Screamed denial.] “Then why did you try to vote like a bitch?” [Interrupting mumbled retort.] “Yes you did! YES! YOU! DID!”

Forward this post as necessary:

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