Pumpkin Jam 2008 [Flickr]

Confession time, folks. I’m reaching a critical mass of SUCK on the news.

It seems like there is news that moves things one way or the other every damn hour, and it has me a little punch-drunk at the moment. By the time Tuesday night rolls around, I might just be reduced to involuntary, myoclonic twitching. And I don’t think I’m alone here, frankly.

I need to decompress folks. Seriously. Talk me down. (And, I suspect: help talk fellow travellers down too.)

Pamela “Atlas Juggs” Oshrey Geller is officially ready for a rubber room.

She has “proved” that Barack Hussein Obama’s father is …

Read more »

OK, everybody: al-Qaeda is in. Final chapter of Election 2008 begins…. now:

An al Qaeda leader has called for President George W. Bush and the Republicans to be “humiliated”, without endorsing any party in the upcoming U.S. presidential election, according to a video posted on the Internet.

“O God, humiliate Bush and his party, O Lord of the Worlds, degrade and defy him,” Abu Yahya al-Libi said at the end of sermon marking the Muslim feast of Eid al-Fitr, in a video posted on the Internet.

Libi, one of the top al Qaeda commanders believed to be living in Afghanistan or Pakistan, called for God’s wrath to be brought against Bush equating him with past tyrants in history.

Geezer? Barry? This one’s for the game.

(This comes at precisely the right time for the old man. Seriously: there was some off-the-charts bullshit from Geezer today about how Barack Obama supports tax breaks for oil companies. And he gets a free pass, because al-Qaeda wants to pull votes away from Black Eagle.)

Hopey had better come strong here, before Geezer drives the narrative. They’ve got about 12 hours before the blast-ad drops. Barry: hurry up, but don’t rush.

InventorSpot [via PromNight]

A Talibunny Stormtrooper Ready for the Stormfront

Federal authorities are completely freaked out by the possibility of an uprising of enraged neo-Nazis, set on the extermination of Barack Obama and his presidency – a security exposure they believe as potent as an attack by Al Qaeda, according to a report in Newsweek this week.

Waiting in the wings, of course, is the Talibunny for whom the politics of rage, hatred and despair in this campaign have seized her psyche like the first rush of crack in the pristine bloodstream of mall rat – and for whom the neo-Nazi movement provides a ready made army, steeled to take back America from the perfidies and heresies of an Obama administration.

Read more »

Shorter George F. Will:

“Shocked, shocked I am that my efforts to make selfishness a virtue by labeling it ‘conservatism’ have resulted in self-interested, ignorant Republican candidates who can no longer convince a majority of voters to pull the lever against their own interests.”

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies, perfected by Elton Beard, and expertly deployed at Sadly, No!