Character assassin to the stars FlyingChainSaw writes on the fly, and leaves a lot of abandoned drafts scattered in the Stinque editorial chambers. These stories may not be happening, but an FCS headline is a terrible thing to waste.

• Palin’s Mayoral Administration: Tyrannous Reign of Political Greasing and Wanton Adulterous Pestorking
• Talibunny and Psychogeezer’s Crusade of Hate, Fear & Rage Goes Completely Nazi To Mobilize the Adkisson Brigades
• Desperate Traitorous Dog Psychogeezer Begging Bin Ladin to Attack America to Turn Around His Travelling Fashion Show
• Talibunny Going Fucking Nuts!
• Fascist Pederasts’ Heads Exploding
• Adkisson Brigades Clearing Gun Stores of Semi-Automatic Weapons and Ammo

Image: Privacy International Big Brother Award

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVNqJSPrfio

Joe Biden during the veep debate: “Vice President Cheney has been the most dangerous vice president we’ve had probably in American history.”

The Bidens will be visiting the Cheneys at the vice-presidential residence this afternoon. We recommend they leave before dusk.

Biden to Meet Cheney, Make Really Awkward Small Talk [CQ Politics]

Oh hey guys: Up in Alaska, Mark Begich is about 800 votes to the good now, per official figures. But also, he’s extended that lead all day as the absentee votes rolled in.

So: the Cheerleader’s dreams of becoming a Senator? Looking slim right about now. That’s just tubes bad.

[pause]

What? What’s wrong?

AIG CEO Edward Liddy demonstrates how easy it is to put one over on the Bush Administration, explaining to Larry King that tattletale signs were removed from the secret Phoenix retreat for a simple reason:

“We are really cutting corners. We’re doing the same thing the American taxpayer is doing. We are tightening our belts. We didn’t use any signage.”

They probably stiffed the waiters, too.

ABC Catches AIG Executives Hosting Another Posh ‘Junket’ At Luxury Hotel [Think Progress]

I had a wingnut on the open fire, ready to go, but this is too much fun:

The ENQUIRER’s exclusive bombshell expose as  Sen. John McCain‘s wife, Cindy, is caught with another man! 

Not only that but multiple witnesses have caught the pair lip locking on several other occasions.

Does this really surprise anyone?

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President-elect Barack Obama’s plans to overhaul the U.S. health care system would cost the federal government $75 billion but would provide health insurance for 95 percent of Americans, consulting firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers said on Wednesday.

Call it a “health-care bailout,” and we have a winner.

Obama health plan to cost $75 billion: analysis [Reuters]

We’ve seen that movie too:

“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”

So ruled the Virginia trial judge following the January 1959 conviction of Mildred Jeter and Richard Loving for marrying against the wishes of the state. The crime of illegal matrimony was a felony, one-to-five; the judge suspended the sentence on the condition that Jeter and Loving profane God’s will elsewhere for twenty-five years.

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