We haven’t been paying attention to Second Life since the Paultard Invasion a few websites ago, but we’ve heard that cyberpestorking is all the rage there. What we haven’t heard — until now — is that in addition to buying virtual genitalia for your avatars, you may be buying a heap o’ trouble back in your sorry excuse for a real world.

That’s what David Pollard learned when his wife caught him pixelating with another woman.

“I just couldn’t believe what he’d done,” said Amy Taylor. “I looked at the screen and saw his character having sex. It’s cheating, as far as I’m concerned.”

And why would Amy be looking at the screen? Because she’s also a member.

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Black Eagle takes the Omaha electoral vote. Which is to say that the Inadequate Black Male won an election in freaking Nebraska.  Carry on.

Mittens is romancing the morons over at the National Review:

Mitt Romney is meeting with a group of top GOPers: The National Review post-election Caribbean cruise. National Review’s 2007 cruise, which went to Alaska, was the venue where Sarah Palin introduced herself to the right-wing media elite, leading to her being placed on the 2008 GOP ticket.

Sadly, there are no icebergs in the Carribean.

• John Paul II apologizes in 1995 for Church’s treatment of women: 1,995 years
• Pope Benedict apologizes in 2008 for child sex abuse by clergy: 869 years
• John Paul II apologizes in 1999 for Jan Hus being burned at the stake: 584 years

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I’m torn, folks.  Really I am.

On the one hand, the Big Three ought to go down in flames. Mismanagement to the hilt. You know this. But if they declare bankruptcy, hundreds of thousands would be put out of work. And not just at the plants, but lots of other suppliers too, as well as mom-and-pop shops around the plants. And not just here, but in Big Three plants worldwide. Meanwhile, there may be honest-to-God bread lines in Michigan this winter. Total meltdown, in other words. The economy has been teetering on the brink of complete and utter disaster, and this may give it the last nudge over the edge.

And now we have an impending bailout bill. If I had to choose right freaking now: put all the regulation and oversight on the Big Three as is humanly possible and eject the current bigwigs, but go ahead and pass the damned bailout. It might buy us some time, and the economy might be stronger next year so that a failure of one of the Big Three might not sting us poor innocent saps as much. Hell: they might even survive, get smart and, longshot of longshots, come back. (Another thought: the Big Three can be bought fairly cheap at this point by some other interested parties — like Japanese auto makers. If they can swing it, they might as well pull the trigger on a takeover.)

So: what’s the endgame here? Is there an option that (oy vey) screws us less than Ford closing its doors?

Can’t find anything online, but NBC’s Andrea Mitchell is quoting two sources saying Hillary’s going to State. (Okay, she’s a “viable candidate.” Remember, balloons float with helium or hot air.)

Did he fall and hit his head?

But to have been so completely and fundamentally wrong about so huge a disaster as what we have done to Iraq — and ourselves — is outrageous enough to prove that people like me have no business posing as wise men, and, more importantly, that The New York Times has no business continuing to provide me with a national platform.

In any case, I have made a decision: as of today, I will no longer write in this or any other newspaper. I will immediately desist from writing any more books about how it’s time for everyone to climb on board the globalization high-speed monorail to the future. I will keep my opinions to myself. (My wife suggested that I try not to even form opinions, but I think she might have another agenda.)

Sure it’s a spoof, but I can dream, can’t I?