We haven’t been paying attention to Second Life since the Paultard Invasion a few websites ago, but we’ve heard that cyberpestorking is all the rage there. What we haven’t heard — until now — is that in addition to buying virtual genitalia for your avatars, you may be buying a heap o’ trouble back in your sorry excuse for a real world.

That’s what David Pollard learned when his wife caught him pixelating with another woman.

“I just couldn’t believe what he’d done,” said Amy Taylor. “I looked at the screen and saw his character having sex. It’s cheating, as far as I’m concerned.”

And why would Amy be looking at the screen? Because she’s also a member.

Amy & David met online five years ago, and celebrated their wedding in a Second Life ceremony. But the honeymoon didn’t last, and Amy suspected David’s avatar was wandering. She discovered him doing the digital nasty with a cyberhooker last year, and even after he begged forgiveness she wasn’t satisfied that he was keeping his joystick inside his pants.

That’s when she hired — we’re not making this up — a virtual private detective, name of Markie Macdonald. Markie set up a love trap for David’s avatar, but he didn’t take the bait.

Not that time, anyway. Last April, Amy caught David on the electronic sofa with “Modesty McDonell”, and that’s all she word-processed. Meatspace divorce papers were filed the next day.

“People find love in lots of different ways,” Amy says today. And in different realities — she met her latest flame in World of Warcraft.

Second Life sex causes divorce [Metro UK, with pictures!]

Second Life affair leads to real life divorce [Guardian UK]


Is this for people who can’t actually be bothered to get out?

Oh wow. Um. Er…

I guess this proves that no matter how hard one tries to be their 2nd Life persona, they can’t escape their 1st (real) Life persona as it bites them in the (in this case rather ample) ass.

Where is everybody? Am I the only one up at this hour? I’m babysitting the critters at my son’s house while he, his wife, and their four children are away, at a youth hockey tournament. It worries me that I am becoming fond of the bearded dragon. I’m told that recently the youngest of the four cats that live here found her way in to the bearded dragon’s lair and was seen to be grooming him. Not easy to smooth out the spikes on his surface. This experience seems to have given him an interest in life. Before, it was hard for me to tell if he was still alive. I had to memorize his position and come back hours later to see if he had moved. Now, he seems to be always on the qui vive, at least to the extent of blinking when his enclosure is approached.
Forgive me, I’m high on Pinot Grigio and Guinness, which is very much NG for me. If I don’t stop drinking alcohol very soon, I’ll have to go through withdrawal, ugh. Advice broadcast to the world: if, in your youth, you can drink people under the table while seeming still to be undrunk yourself, some painful experiences await you. On the other hand, you meet a really nice class of people [a truly splendid bunch] in AA and Alanon. To self: Blabbermouth.

This just confirms my dislike for VR worlds. I have enough trouble in the real world. Hi lynn!

Thanks for the greeting, IanJ. VR is Virtual Reality, right? Actual Reality is what I find here at Stinque and in the real world, which is quite nice, especially in my neck of the woods. At first I wrote, “all a matter of attitude ,” but it’s only partly a matter of attitude. It helps to live in what my husbamd describes as “a backwater of Paradise.” Please God, let them beef up the safety net everywhere so that people feel not desperate.

i can’t believe i slept through after dark last night.
i was hoping for some support from the stinquers at large. a number of you have been kind enough to listen to my banshee wailing over rat, WHO IS ON THE PLANE NOW. i pick him up tomorrow afternoon.
it feels like the first date i ever went on. my armpits and palms are damp, which they never are.
will he be an asshole? will i be crying again sunday night? does he still want to be married to me? how do i act? normal is not an option, that’s what drove him away. how do people stay married? what does a good wife do? this is husbnd#4. fiance #6. zsa zsa’s got nothing on me.
my plan so far, PLEASE add your ideas:
i’m picking him up holding a sign like a driver. the sign will say the name we call his peen. fun?
then we go to grace bay club, for drinks, lots and lots ‘o drinks.
then i have all his favorite foods waiting in the oven for the feast of his dreams. then, i’m stumped. i could always jump his bones, but i sense we wait on that after all this damage, he’s been pawed by another too recently. scrabble? 500 rummy? a movie? WHAT???

It’s been driving me crazy that I’ve had trouble logging on to this computer. Finally succeeded.

You will do just fine. Do you want him? Do you want him if he doesn’t care enough to wish to please you? Just let him know how you feel about him. If he’s cruel, screw him. You’ll find someone who’s kind. Never mind about how many marriages or engagements. One of the happiest couples I know never got married until very recently, although they had been together for more than twenty years plus one mutual child, because in their free-wheeling youth, the woman in the case had been married and divorced six times. I seem to remember that you said you’re the one who makes him laugh. If so, that will go with you to your next liaison, and as you must know, nothing is more precious than wit and humor. You’re golden, no matter what.

it might be gallows humor, but i’ll hold on to your words and my funny. love you.

@baked: I like the sign idea.
Be yourself. That’s all you can do. You can’t be someone who you’re not.

thanks rabbi,
i suspect all i have to do is feed him and stay in the same zip code, and we’ll be ok. have i mentioned i haven’t cooked him a meal in about 2 years? and i won’t walk into a supermarket? he does all the food shopping and cooking because a few years ago his ex wife beat me up in superfresh with a pint of ice cream. PTSD is getting old.
turning over a new leaf. off to the market soon–all by myself!
there’s hope!

@baked: Good luck baked. I think SFL nailed it — be yourself. If you try to be someone else, someone’s going to be disappointed, sooner or later. If he’s not into yourself, then it’s probably time to call it off.

I know, that’s easy as pie to say, and damn near impossible to do, but that’s our job as semi-detached observers: tell you what the right thing to do is, sans emotion, and your job is to take that, filter it through the emotions you can’t turn off, and see what the result looks like.

I haven’t had to deal with what you’re going through, and I’m hardly a stellar example myself (currently single and frustrated, although nothing to do with emulating rat’s behavior), but hopefully just the voice of outside logic can help.

Whatever happens, good luck, and remember that you have people who love you.

@baked: You are in control. You are not a victim of the actions of others. You wait and see. You give him a fair chance. Forget the past and start over, and decide whether what is now is what you want. Give him the benefit of a doubt that he might truly feel justified to feel what he feels, people get things wrong sometimes, and if its obvious that his perception is a mistake, recognize that and give some understanding.

You will know what you want. No fear. No reason for fear. Just be you and be honest and decent and forgiving and loving if its what you feel, and don’t seek revenge or punishment, and if you are being you and honest and you know you have been fair and its not working for you, well, you will know and you will decide. YOU will decide. So don’t fret, its your choice.

@baked: Baby Girl, be yourself. I love you. And if you’re true to yourself, you’ll have no regrets.

i remember getting my first computer and being aware of how this machine would change the world as we knew it. i couldn’t have imagined that i would get to know and love the people in our cybercafe the way i do. i never had better friends. thank you all.
i can meet him now with a strength i wouldn’t have had without stinquey support. thanks. LOVE.

and i want to revisit those few days in that miami hotel room.
you all literally kept me off the window ledge. LOVE.

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