Love! Exciting and New!

Mittens is romancing the morons over at the National Review:

Mitt Romney is meeting with a group of top GOPers: The National Review post-election Caribbean cruise. National Review’s 2007 cruise, which went to Alaska, was the venue where Sarah Palin introduced herself to the right-wing media elite, leading to her being placed on the 2008 GOP ticket.

Sadly, there are no icebergs in the Carribean.


What is fuckface Romney going to do? All he did all his life was dismember companies. What’s left to chop up and sell off?

@FlyingChainSaw: What’s left to chop up and sell off?

The few remaining shreds of his dignity.

Mittens is the Ken Doll to Simple Palin’s Barbie.

His greatest problem is that he doesn’t stand for anything except his own Mormony ambitions. One moment he’s a liberul Repub Gubbiner from Taxechussets and then he’s a cold killing MLK handshaking hardcore torturer from Jeebus land.


Sounds like some lame ass Soviet poster slogan from the Cold War.

If only there were pirates…I’d love to see that group walk the plank.

What ship is this cruise sailing on? The Titanic? The S.S. Nimrod? The Poseidon? The U.S.S. Dumbfuckia?

I bet the steam room and sauna aboard ship have some of the best hot gay action in all of the Western world.

@rptrcub: “Nimrod,” that made me laugh. I laughed also at last nights rerun daily show when someone called someone a “gaylord,” an epithet I haven’t heard since grade school.

I bet True Strength has something to do with the magic underwear.

Considering the Repubs the options might be kinky, scary, and/or blood curdling.

@rptrcub: @Prommie:
As I learned the other day – you can’t sail on a Nimrod, but you can fly on one.

@blogenfreude: He doesn’t have any. He is on the phone to Salt Lake City every day begging the LDS overlords for instructions and permission to take a shit. Fucktard.

@blogenfreude: I didn’t need to click the link, my friend, its a british anti-submarine aircraft, isn’t it?

I spent my geeky and freindless childhood constructing model airplanes, my mind still holds all this information, almost anything that ever flew, yet despite my complete fascination with aviation, my exhilaration every single time I set foot on a plane, my zero-level self-esteem made it impossible for me to even dream that I could ever be a pilot. I was a nothing, you see. It was incomprehensible to me, that I could do such a thing.

@SanFranLefty: Too visible. He will be down in the laundry room.

@homofascist: Please tell me you’re not so young that the Isaac Washington reference went over your head. I will feel very old.

The cruise will be making an extended stay at Fantasy Island.


OMFG, can it be? Teh young, they have abandoned the classic arts that make up the foundation of American Culture.

@SanFranLefty: Have we ever seen Bill Kristol and Bernie Kopell in the same room?

@SanFranLefty: I got your reference, but not until you pointed it out. (I’m just slow, that’s all.)

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: I was placed in conduct probation at the University of Florida for leading a group in singing the Love Boat Theme in my dorm, and refusing to desist when so ordered by the RA. At the inquisition, which was just like the little trial in Animal House, I was asked to describe what happened in my own words, in response to which, I said, “I was singing the Love Boat Theme, like this,” and proceeded to sing it. I was told that I was making a mockery of the proceedings, and responded that they were a mockery long before I started singing.

I had to explain all this on my application to be admitted to the Bar.

@Prommie: You. Are. Somebody. Take pilot lessons now, and maybe instead of an ark, we can tool around on a jet fueled by french fry grease.

@homofascist: @IanJ: Boomers had ’60s Rock; we have ’70s Sitcoms.

you opened the door. i would never. ashamed.
i LOVED that show. (prom, i can sing every word with you!)
remember the episode when lauren tewes snorted columbia?
and fantasy island! prob the reason i’m here.
i think i’m going to start calling evilmammy tatoo…….

@SanFranLefty: Oops, that did go over my head. I only have the faintest memories of The Love Boat. Family Ties on the other hand…

@homofascist: My FSM, I don’t think I’m that much older than you, but I guess those few critical years in the ’70s were all it takes… Did you totally have a hate fuck crush on Alex P. Keaton as a young homofascist?

@nojo: Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Best.Trash.TeeVee.Evah.

@baked: I thought Love Boat was a cheap ripoff of Love American Style. I had standards.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: The actual ship or one of the various sexual definitions from Urban Dictionary?

@blogenfreude: That should be part of the Homofascist Armory to use upon this unholy GOP Ship of the Damned.

Can we all at least agree on Mr. Rogers?

you are right, as always. EVAH! da plane! da plane!

because love american style was so intellectually stimulating?
nojo…a momentous moment. the first time in years now, i don’t agree with you. love boat was the trash spin-off that bested the original.

trivia time: name the 2 photograhers on that love boat.
(it was like a darren stevens switch)


I was thinking that a ghost ship piloted by the soulless undead was a pretty apt metaphor for the Republican Party at this point. However, since you brought it up, Urban Dictionary Definition #1, #5, and #6 all fit the bill as well.

@mellbell: No. No we cannot.

@baked: Love American Style came earlier, and I was younger. Therefore, it was better.

I too loved Love American Style. And the Courtship of Eddie’s Father.

@nojo: I agree completely. I am proud to say that I never watched a complete episode of LB or Fantasy Island. And I never will. You can have my Get Smart DVDs when you pry them from my cold dead hands.


I hate to agree with Brand W, but Romney is TOTES Guy Smiley.

@JNOV: And there’s the great divide within our generation: Bill Bixby will always be Eddie’s father to me.

no one playing trivia? 70’s sitcoms have my rainman brain smoking.

what was the name of the housekeeper in eddie’s father?
god, i wish i didn’t know.

@nojo: There was someone else? (Serious question.)

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: That was in his washed up days. Lou Ferrigno had a cameo on the most recent Hulk, though.

@baked: I have no idea — I had the hugest crush on Eddie. And that freckly boy on Family Something (I keep thinking Family Circus, but that was the comic strip, which was dumb). I hated that doll Mrs. Beasly or whateverthefuck her name was.

Did anyone watch that Diahnn Carol show where she was a nurse? I remember my mom telling me it was a big deal to have a black actress star in her own show. And she was a single mother.

ADD: Julia maybe?

family affair. mrs beasley, beloved by buffy, (brother with freckles: jody)
can’t stump me.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:
ding! ding! ding!

@JNOV: Yes, “Julia.” Very big deal at the time — Cosby was only a co-star of “I Spy.”

Full disclosure: I never identified with a Brady brother. My touchstone was Danny Bonaduce.

There was a period of time when we didn’t even have electricity at the Pueblo and therfore no TV, so a lot of this stuff passed me by. We just read a lot and listened to the news on the battery powered radio. The kerosene lamp on the trastero (cabinet) holding the TV in the living room now reminds me of those days. I didn’t even have a TV when I was an undergrad.


I never identified with a Brady brother either, but as he grew into late adolescence, Peter filled me with feelings I could not define or understand.

@redmanlaw: We all have our sacrifices. I endured the first ten years of my life without cable or color. The first time I saw Star Trek in color at a friend’s house, I was shocked.

@nojo: Yup, Eddie’s Father to me. There were these sitcom dads I wished were my dad, Bill Bixby was one. Brian Kieth was another. Big and strong but gentle. I still wish Brian Dennehy could be my dad, he’d protect me.

I remember Julia.

Jody wound up doing those Sid and Marty Kroft shows that I could never buy into, HR Puffinstuff (WTF, magic fucking flute?) and Lidsville, that confused me, he was supposed to be Jody, dammit.

But we will never forget the Sleestack, will we?

Sunday night was Gentle Ben and Flipper and Ed Sullivan’s shoe.

A little later, Friday night was Partridge Family and Brady Bunch night.

@Prommie: I didn’t understand Pufnstuf until I was in college. Curiously enough, I didn’t get stoned until I was in college, either.


Electro-Woman and Dyna-Girl. Superfriends. Fucking Classic Scooby Doo.

brian keith was their UNCLE.
i need to go take a ride or sit on the beach before i start writing in klingon. and i can, oh yes, i can.

@Prommie: Flipper was Saturday night at 7:30, and don’t you try to convince me otherwise.

It couldn’t have been Sunday night. That was Wild Kingdom and Disney.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: Wacky Races. Am I the only one left with a crush on Penelope Pitstop?

Wasn’t Bill Bixby also in My Mother The Car?

But I will love me my Samantha forever, peoples. I think that might have been my first sexual attraction, I wanted that Samantha.

@Prommie: Yes, I’ll go there:

Brady Bunch
Partridge Family
Room 222
Courtship of Eddie’s Father
Love American Style

Please keep a safe distance from me, lest you catch whatever virus I have.

@Prommie: Esmeralda. I was weird from a very young age.

@nojo: I hated that they and the Bradys sang. Such horrible horrible songs!

@Prommie: A guy I knew had a serious crush on Valerie Bartenelli from some dumb show and I loved regaling him with fantasies about taking her on the roof of an abandoned factory, on the splintered timbers of a rotting pier, on the roof of a tractor trailer, etc.


I wanted to be her so much. All that fantastic blonde hair.

@Prommie: Oh no you didn’t just diss HR Puffinstuff!

@JNOV: And the New Zoo Review and Puff the Magic Dragon!

no worries, already have it.

all time fave of all time—uncle arthur. i was a little hagglet even then.

valerie bertinelli dumb show: one day at a time. also featuring bonnie franklin and makenzie phillips.
somebody slap me!

@FlyingChainSaw: That stupid show was “One Day At A Time,” and don’t you forget it. Samantha, Bwitched, Elizabeth Montgomery (what a fucking waspy name!).


I can feel your heartbeat
and you didn’t even say a word
I can feel your heartbeat
and you didn’t even say a word
Oh, I know, pretty woman
that your love can be heard

I have the album. Fear me.

Bah. You oldies and your non SF TV shows.

As a little one, I looved the show Buck Rogers. Wilma Deering and her tight jumpsuits cemented my heterosexuality.

At the time I didn’t quite get the humor behind Twikie’s head.

Fav Sitcom: WKRP in Cincinnati. Bailey all the way.

@baked: That’s the show. I dunno what Bob’s thing was for her as she was kinda generic and hardly the wanton fuck beast who’d rip the hair out of your back and bite through the flesh on your shoulders in orgasmic paroxysm while pier plank splinters tore at her ass – as I described her to Bob in our bar-side chats, anyway.

@Prommie: Wow. She looked ill and so blond she was almost transparent.

I hope they get shipwrecked and have to resort to cannibalism, and Mitt’s wiping his mouth with the last tender typing finger of Kristol when the rescue ship appears.


That show was nearly perfect. Les Nesman and his invisible office walls. Herb’s suits. Johnny Fever.

@Prommie: Still a little thin but her hair is at least visible.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again: The Perfect Sitcom was Barney Miller. At least once they ditched the wife after the first season.


I was called Jack Soo by one coworker/ Barney fan at my first job because I made the worst coffee ever (rule was the new guy had to make the coffee, but the problem was I don’t drink coffee–six scoops, eight scoops, eleventy hundred scoops didn’t matter to me.)

@ManchuCandidate: You probably know that Steve Landesberg has a role in a Venture Bros. episode. They give him a Barney Miller shout-out in the commentary.

@Prommie: Showing my youth: Fridays — ABC’s TGIF, with Full House/Family Matters/Perfect Strangers and then whatever else they could find to fill the 9:30 slot before 20/20 came on (which I watched, t0o); Saturdays — Dr. Who and The Prisoner on PBS (which explains why I’m warped now — being 8 and seeing a huge balloon suffocate a man can ruin you); Sundays — ST:TNG.

last opinion and i’m taking a break. i’m frightening myself.

the best sitcom was WKRP until….
THE OFFICE. genius.

@rptrcub: You lost me after Friday. (Also, don’t forget “Step by Step” with Patrick Duffy and Suzanne Somers. Quality!)

I can’t believe you missed “My Favorite Martian”……”Uncle Maaaaaartin!

Is it too early in the day to admit that I always thought that “Love, American Style” was, well, an “adult” show? And there was a comma in the title, I’m almost certain.

he was prob the kind of guy who got turned on by little white cotton socks…with lace.

@rptrcub: Some things bridge generations. I was transfixed by the original airings of The Prisoner, and probably at the same age. That bouncing airbag of a balloon, the guy strapped to the dentist chair-like apparatus – teh awesome!

Anyone else consider “Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp” the best Saturday morning children’s programming ever?

@nabisco: We didn’t have CBS in Eugene — which is why I’m also Addams Family and not Munsters. Deprived youth.

And yes, on a star-spangled night, my friend, there was a comma in L,AS.

@RomeGirl: Yikes! I bet any part of Wm K would taste disgusting, no matter how distinguished the chef preparing the dish.

Wild Wild Wild West was wild.@nabisco: Those poor fucking monkeys.
@FlyingChainSaw: Yes. Yes it is. I’m going to get a 40 and spill it out on the curb in her memory this evening.

@nabisco: I think that episode was where Patrick McGoohan was being tricked into thinking he was having a lobotomy as he was an antisocial unmutual. Unmutalism has been one of my goals ever since.

Dear God, what are you people talking about? What has any of this to do with magic underpants?

i’m going out on a limb here. no googling. i may be destroying my trivia cred, but wasn’t carlton the doorman on the mary tyler moore show?
not one day at a time?

@Prommie: Artemus Gordon was the ultimate sidekick.

@baked: Or Bob Newhart? Also without cheating, I think he was one of the writers.

@baked: I think you’re right, but was it “Rhoda” or MTM?

ADD: Nojo may have nailed it.

ADD2: Suzanne Pleshette? Rowr….

@baked: Who was the creepy guy always coming on to Bonnie Franklin? The super?

@Prommie: Fuckface the plumber/suberintendent

Here’s the outfit I want Talibunny to wear next time we fuck on the roof of the Wal-Mart in Wasilla

@Benedick: We are reminiscing about the imaginary families and freinds we had back in the 70s, its an american thang, you wouldn’t understand.

jim west!!! one of my first fantasy boyfriends!
the love of my young fantasy life will always be James Tiberious Kirk.
since nojo and saw are willing to go anywhere…what the fuck:
i still have his action figure.

and ilya kuriaken’s too.
the man from U.nited N.etwork C.ommand. for E.nforcement

ok, shneider was the slimey-with-a-heart super hitting on bonnie.

carlton was the doorman on MTM AND rhoda.

bob newhart has nothing to do with carlton. but he does have passover dinner with don rickles.

quiz will be tuesday.

@nabisco: I thought I was too young to watch that sexy show — maybe my mom told me I was. But she let me watch Monty Python’s Flying Circus with her.

I have nothing from my youth. Nothing. Not an artifact, not a friend. I am dead, I think.


I actually worked with Rhoda’s father in a production of King Lear at the Utah Shakespeare Festival…

@Prommie: You don’t spill the whole thing. Just a sip for your homie.

@Benedick: Don’t get me started on Mormons and magic underpants!


It was Rhoda.


I must be in the bridge part of this generation, I understood ALL of that, even the acronym.

Garments minus the magifistical markings that make them magic:

ADD: Women wear their bras over the top. Yep.

@Tommmcatt Yet Again:
i’m officially challenging wiki. i’m standing firm, carlton was also on MTM!

i just confessed to owning an ilya kuryaken doll. before i die of humiliation, can i get some love back for the man from U.N.C.L.E.?

I was more hung up on the Avengers after watching the reruns on A&E during the 90s. Emma Peel…

@baked: the Man from U.N.C.L.E. was great, but ya coulda hit me with a shoe before I’d remember the acronym.

@ManchuCandidate: mmmm, Emma Peel – both versions!

@Prommie: I packed myself out of my boyhood home around 20ish, and engaged in globetrotting for a spell. In the interim, folks divorced, house got sold, stuff got lost. I have a shoebox of baseball cards, my record collection and a pretty fierce collection of GI Joe stuff (in one GI Joe-sized footlocker), and that’s about it. We make our own history.

@baked: I was once in a play with Ilya Kuryagin (such as) Nice man. Good actor. Huge peen.

@nabisco: There were four: Honor Blackman; Di Rigg; Thingammy Whatsit (married to Bill Boggs); and Joanna Lumley.

Alright. I’m not encouraging any more of this. Get your homework done. Otherwise no TV for you!

Jesus — I leave you guys alone for a few minutes and a Classic TV war breaks out.

Anyway: Dragnet 1969. Joe Friday has a high opinion of Los Angeles, with its history, culture and educational opportunities. He also appreciates the go-getters trying to make their world a little more liveable. But when people go down the wrong path to success, he goes to work. He carries a badge.

nooooo! shut up! you were!!!! and the peen too!! oh i just knew it!
details details…when? how does he look now?
what the blossoming little tommcatt saw in peter brady, ilya was how i knew i was to be a straight little girl.

of course you don’t remember the acronym, no normal person would.
what part of idiot savant haven’t you noticed about me.

nooooo! shut up! you were!!!! and the peen too? oh, i just knew it!!
did you see it up close and personal like? tell!!!!
details details…when? how does he look now?
what the blossoming little tommcatt saw in peter brady, ilya was how i knew i was to be a straight little girl.

of course you don’t remember the acronym, no normal person would.
what part of idiot savant haven’t you noticed about me.

135 comments? Jesus, don’t you people have work to do?

(sighs and goes back to typing)

@baked: Just kidding about the peen. Very much a married man with very good-looking children. It was a while ago, you understand. But he was still recognized in Denny’s. We were in a summer-stock tour and he was very good.

@homofascist: I’ve finished work. I will now go downstairs and play with dogs.

@JNOV: I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing the magic underpants. Talk about visible panty lines. That’s like perpetually wearing long johns, and it gets hot in the summer in Utah. What do they wear to the beach?

I’m shocked that nobody else has mentioned “Solid Gold,” which was the most awesomist show ever.

The Solid Gold dancers!!!

My sister and I would run around the living room trying to kick and grind like the dancers. And nothing hotter than those gold lame headbands they’d wear.

Oh, and what was that wacky show that was on NBC for years? Real People, I think it was called? That was weird.

Man, the ’70s and early ’80s rocked.

@SanFranLefty: I was working in SLC and became addicted to the BYU channel. Highlights were the Modest Hula Team: Strapping young women wearing a whole kind of ‘modest’ set of clothes under grass skirts and leis performing ‘Authentic’ hula dances. That and the regular displays put on by the musical theatre dept (there you are, my people!) involving a great deal of cheap satin and more sequins than I would have thought absolutely necessary to perform numbers from Oklahoma!. Oh and the hugely spectacular and utterly ridiculous epics about pushing shopping carts west or some such nonsense which involved a great many hitch-kicks to add pizazz to the thumbs-tucked-in-armpits choreography. And I would watch it all knowing that every single one of them was wearing magic panties. Which makes everything more enjoyable on so many levels. Mind you, when Patrick Wilson wore them in Angels in America they suddenly made perfect sense. And I do mean perfect.

Very little talk about the Mountain Meadows massacre, however.

@SanFranLefty: If you’ve seen the Solid Gold Dancers then you’ve seen the musical theatre dept at BYU.

Touch. Step. Pivot. Step. Back. Touch. Together!

@Benedick: Solid Gold dancers had way more bumping and grinding than the BYU theatre dept, I imagine…

Speaking of Mormons and musicals, hey, did you know the California Musical Theatre director in Sacto who was forced to resign after it was revealed that he gave a thousand bucks to the Yes on 8 campaign?

@Benedick: OMG! The handcart reenactments! Yes! And as much trouble as I give Mormons, they have a fabulous tradition in dance. Modestly dressed unless they’re on Dancing with the Stars or So You Think you Can Dance. Their outfits cause conniptions in the Morridor.

@SanFranLefty: I read that. That good Mormon boy says his sister is a lesbian and he loves her. ::puke::


@chicago bureau:
joe’s badge number? 714

i’m hoping for a power outage. i have an entire conversation between latka and simka playing in my head now.

what’s this again about pot destroying your memory?

@JNOV: OMG – if you type “Solid Gold dancers” into YouTube, there are more than 250 videos. I guess I know what I’ll be doing tonight.

Here’s one to start:

@SanFranLefty: That was the BEST THING EVAH! I’m ready to dance! Will there be dancing at the stinqueroo inauguration?

ADD: Yes, yes there will!

@Benedick: BYUTV is 9403 on the Dish Network.

/back to Reno 911 and Pardon the Interruption

@baked: Also Babe Ruth’s home-run record, of course.

But Dragnet 1969? I thought Dragnet 1967 had more authenticity.

@SanFranLefty: I totally think that we should bring back the style of a one piece bathing suit with high heels.

@JNOV: Next time you’re feeling down, watch a random Solid Gold video. You know what struck me the most watching that clip? How much our society’s view of what an ideal woman’s body should look like. Those dancers looked like dancers – they had muscular thighs, badonkabadonk asses, and could kick your ass with their stilettos. By today’s standards (think ANTM, all those other shows) they would be considered “plus-sized.”
@homofascist: You mean like in Miss Alaska 1984?

speaking of angels in america and tv…
i think mike nichols tv mini series of ‘angels’ is one of the top 5 things ever broadcast. i’m sure you saw the play. don’t even tell me.

@SanFranLefty: If those dancers were plus-sized, sign me up. Rowr.


By today’s insane standards, Marilyn Monroe would be considered plus-sized.


It might interest you to know that Doctor Who greatly contributed to my atheism.

Wonderful episodes from the show’s 70s golden-age were shown on PBS on Sunday mornings at 10:00 am in the late 80s and early 90s, and I remember thinking “wow, not only is this more fun than church, it makes more sense, too!” I absolutely refused to go to church soon after.

So that’s how I became the militant, atheist, Rambo-homo I am today. Well, that and the Jesus Campy Southern Baptist church my parents attended (double shudder). They should have been charged with child abuse for sending me and my brother there.

@baked: Didn’t see it onstage. only read it. The TV version is indeed superb.

@baked: No. No, no, no. Carlton was in Rhoda, ad the spin-off show about her sister, the wone who is the voice of Marge Simpson now. Julie, maybe?
Mary lived first in the charming Victorian House owned by Cloris Leachman (Phyllis) and her husband Lars. Rhoda lived in the attic apartment. No doorman. Later, Mary moved to a high-rise in downtown Minneapolis. No doorman. Carlton was strictly a NY guy, in Rhoda’s and her sister’s building.
MTM was my favorite, and was on Sat night followed by MASH. Also adored WKRP. I had a crush on Andy.

@SanFranLefty: I was in love with the woman who was cohost of Real People, Cathy Lee Crosby, I think.

@Original Andrew: The Fly Girls on the Wayans show were sturdy lasses, and could they ever grind, there was noone to bump, I would have truly loved a puppy pile with them.

@IanJ: @Original Andrew: They were plus-sized by today’s standards. That means they had musculature, boobs, and ass, and were at least a size 6 or 8.

@prommie: I loved the Fly Girls. I loved In Living Color. “I’m Gonna Git YOU Sucka” is one of my favorite movies. The Wayan brothers are underrated.

@homofascist: I would have agreed with you on the one-piece and high heels up until a few months ago, but the picture of Palin in Miss Alaska in the one piece ruined it for me. Palin is one of those lucky one’s whose face improved with age, young, she was meh.

@SanFranLefty: Hollywood Shuffle is one of my favorite movies, the one before I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka. “Inky Dinky Dog.”

Skinny is attractive, sure, why not. But its not the only thing thats attractive.

Anna Nicole Smith got up to around 250 pounds, and I know, nothing there, trainwreck, but from the standpoint of physical attractiveness, she was the most beautiful woman I think to have lived in my lifetime. She was marilyn monroe on steroids, and the face of aphrodite.

In the current time, I am enjoying the hell out of Henry Rollins Uncut: Live in South Africa on the IFC. I get it when he says he smashes everything he can in a day to keep on keeping it real (which he feels is a ridiculous phrase but it is what is is). For example: tomorrow we kill and butcher a buffalo at home, then I’ll hit the river for trout or pike, then dinner and go cut wood the next day. The shit is crazy, but it keeps me in touch with things. I’m nowhere near other cats I know, however. My brothers and I were talking about a cousin of ours. “He lives very close the the earth,” they said, and I’m like “whoa, that cat is fucking down.”

@SanFranLefty: @Promnight:

LOVED in living color!!! “homey don’t play that”
and the “Z’ snap queens? “men on….” he-larious.
i still do the Z snap.

@Mistress Cynica:
i bow to your knowledge, i have such a vivid mental picture of mary talking to carlton, she must have been visiting rhoda!

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