As some of you know, I’m not the best at leaving Manhattan. Or leaving the apartment for that matter. So where to go when you haven’t left Manhattan for a year? Mitsuwa, of course, in Edgewater, New Jersey. It’s a gigantic Japanese grocery store. All we had to do was catch a shuttle from the Port Authority.

The view across the Hudson from Mitsuwa’s cafeteria – lots of great stands to order from. The second first building to the right of the lamp post is Grant’s tomb.

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Title: “Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life and Legacy as the Duck Commander”

Author: Phil Robertson

Rank: 40

Blurb: “Phil’s is the remarkable story of one man who followed the call he received from God and soon after invented a duck call that would begin an incredible journey to the life he had always dreamed of for himself and his family.”

Review: “This is a wholesome family that others would do well to learn from!”

Bonus Review: “They do not condemn others, they lift everyone around them up.”

Customers Also Bought: “Duck Dynasty Redneck Wisdom Board Game”

Footnote: Setting aside that whole Evil Fags Happy Darkies Thing, our favorite moment of the whole hullabaloo was learning that A&E fakes the bleeps to spice up the show.

Happy, Happy, Happy [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

Who would have thunk that the gheyz would be able to get hitched in Utah in any of our lifetimes?

ADD: Pics of jubilant couples getting married in SLC courtesy of the SF fishwrap. Whoever is slicing onions around here, I beg you to please stop it.

ADD 2: The Mayor of Salt Lake City performing the marriage of a Utah State Senator and his now husband. My brain splats yet again.

[NYT: Federal Judge Rules Same Sex Marriage Legal in Utah]

If you can’t make sense of our guest columnist, not to worry. We can’t either.

In the scope of my research, a feminist programming language is to be built around a non-normative paradigm that represents alternative ways of abstracting. The intent is to encourage and allow new ways of thinking about problems such that we can code using a feminist ideology.

To succinctly sum up my research thus far I will outline the decomposition of my question below:

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Yes, Megyn, there is a White Santa Claus. Many of them. And they’re pissed.

[via Know Your Meme]

It’s Academic is a DC-area quiz show that features teams of high school students competing for … not much. I was an alternate to the alternates – I was never going to be on the show. I went to a couple tapings however, and this guy put other game show hosts to shame. A bit of my childhood.

You reach a point in life when you’re Beyond Shock. It’s not merely that you’ve Seen It All Before; you’ve also aggressively Questioned Your Presumptions, so that your foundation in Reality is as solid as it gets, short of swallowing the Red Pill, but that’s metaphysically cheating. Brain In a Vat is a different game.

And yet, despite your best efforts, something happens to upset your mental apple cart. It comes while you’re streaming Fincher’s Zodiac, something you’ve seen before, something you’re half paying attention to, when you catch a throwaway line, a joke about a flamboyant local lawyer who did a guest spot on…

Star Trek?

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