Our nation’s preachers are fed up with our nation’s gag orders:

“Pastors have a right to speak about biblical truths from the pulpit without fear of punishment. No one should be able to use the government to intimidate pastors into giving up their constitutional rights.”

That would be Erik Stanley of something called the Alliance Defense Fund, which sponsored Pulpit Freedom Sunday yesterday. And who could disagree with him? No reason preachers shouldn’t enjoy the same free-speech rights as the rest of us.

For that matter, no reason preachers shouldn’t also enjoy the same taxation rights. You give up your tax exemptions and render unto Caesar, and we’ll fully support your judgment about how best to render unto God.

And there’s the rub. They want it both ways.

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William Safire, Nixon Speechwriter and Times Columnist, Is Dead at 79 [NYT]

We neglected to mention last week that in addition to team political contributions, the NFL also maintains a lobbying office in Washington, D.C. As well they should, since they have a Congress-approved monopoly to protect.

Some may call that Socialism — in America, no less! — but we’re more concerned about league regulations that strangle the ability of teams to compete on a free gridiron. If we want a sport that really reflects our values as a nation, we should just throw twenty-two dudes onto a field and let them score touchdowns by any means necessary. Heck, we might even contribute to their charity healthcare to maintain purity of excellence.

Just a thought as we enjoy some refreshing Belgian Pisswater during today’s Stinque Tailgate. Go Local Corporate Scumbags!

Title: “Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor”

Author: Matt Latimer

Rank: 81

Blurb: “If only there had been more Matt Latimers in the Bush administration.” (Tucker Carlson)

Review: “I’ll keep this book until late October when I’ll need kindling for my fireplace.”

Customers Also Bought: “Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free,” by Charles P. Pierce

Footnote: Although not our usual Wingnut Special, there’s been enough chatter around this book (by a former Shrub speechwriter) that we can’t ignore it. Bush, upon first hearing of Sarah Palin: “What is she, the governor of Guam?”

Speech-less [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]

“Nebraska to celebrate 300th straight sellout,” reports the AP. Imagine our crushing disappointment when we discovered the story wasn’t about Ben Nelson refusing to commit to blocking a healthcare filibuster, but rather something regarding the Cornholers’ ability to fill seats with butts. That’s enough to make us cry in our beer, and thankfully the kegs at the Stinque Tailgate are never empty.

It’s been a busy week in Beckistan, with Time and Katie showering love upon The Only Wingnut That Matters, and his hometown mayor (but not his hometown city council) giving him a hero’s welcome today.

But we’ve been wondering how long the joy could last, what with Beck stealing the gold leads from top snake-oil salesmen Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Hannity. This meddles with the primal forces of nature, after all. Beck needs to see the face of God.

Or short of that, Mark Levin.

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If a grad student needs a thesis project, might we suggest a comparative analysis of Firesign Theatre/Monty Python/SNL/Mel Brooks references we’ve deployed Above the Timestamp? We’re reliably informed that comedy did indeed exist outside the 1970s, but our mind is like Classic Rock for Geeks, an infinite loop of “And He Knew Not His Ass From a Hole In the Ground.”

And with that, let’s play Oddball Blogfill!

• That was your cigar smoldering in the ashtray! Iran’s secret nuke plant revealed; low-angle Times photo artfully disguises how much shorter Sarkozy is than Obama and Gordon Brown.
• Exit Left to Funway. Have we mentioned that Demrat fundraiser’s $292 million Ponzi scheme yet? No? Well, nobody else has, either.
• Land Shark! Banks oppose a new Consumer Financial Protection Agency, have yet to come up with a pithy line about how regulations will strangle your grandma.
• Crunchy Frog! “Fanged frog that eats birds” discovered in Southeast Asia. Guess we could have gone with a Dead Parrot there, but that would have been obvious.